I wandered after the last post if writing this could be construed as going against what i wrote only a few days ago, but i dont believe it does. I know i have blogged about why we dont use safewords before, but a recent conversation with a submissive who asked why we dont when i have 'promoted' their importance (which is a fair question, i suppose others may be thinking it!) i thought i would address it again.
Its not a matter of just being about trust, i want to make that clear because to suggest it is, is like saying those that dont use safewords have more trust in their relationship than those that do....and thats simply not the case.
It is i believe about personal choice and circumstance.
A safeword isnt just about the physical activity ie s/m, it is applicable to any given situation, if something is wrong, sometimes its more an emotional distress.
I go into subspace quite easily, not always but more often than not when we 'scene' i go away with the fairies, subspace i imagine from reading others accounts varies in how we describe it, the sensations etc.
For me, i 'switch off' from my surroundings, the pain simply does not register, i am above it, its not just during s/m but also when its scenes that are intensely humiliating/degrading...i get 'lost' in myself..these are not 'bad' things, i love it, we both enjoy it but it does mean that im in no fit state to make a call on my own welfare.
When im 'flying' i believe i can take more, i will sometimes beg for more just to keep me in this wonderful place im in, this makes me incredibly vulnerable to him, he could easily take advantage of these moments.....now t1icklish made a comment on the last post...
"Maybe the dom had no interest in sticking a cobra up your ying yang originally, but at some point later he saw it online and just had to try it"
ok, so no offence to t1icklish but SSC and RACK come into play here, but more importantly a doms integrity, im sure there are many, many moments Master feels like strangling me when i have my 'moments' and there are times i feel like hitting him over the head with a rolling pin when he is sleeping....but hey common sense and SANITY stop this from happening.
....plus as much a dom may have urges to stick a cobra up his subs ying-yang...im pretty sure the idea of prison might turn him off that notion!
So yeah, at times im barely able to acknowledge Master, or speak (literally as i may be gagged/hooded), i simply am not able to assess my own limitations, it means more 'work' for him as he has to be very vigilant in assessing me and the situation closely....and he makes the call for me when enough is enough, and generally at these times its been before i think im ready...and afterwards when i 'come down' i realise that actually he was right.
If something is 'wrong' and i am level-headed, i tend to address the point directly as in "Master cuffs are too tight" etc, we have made it work for us and *touch wood* there hasnt been any situations where its gotten dangerously out of hand and he has 'missed' potential dangers.