I surrender.
How has this happened.
Im a stroppy, sulky bitch, i push you, i give it all the 'well im not happy about this and im going to make sure you are very aware of this in any way i can' dance, im not exactly an epitome of submissiveness.
You persevered, im not sure you can have much patience left! you saw me for what i was before i even did, it was 'fun' in my mind at the beginning, it still is fun, but my idea of being a slave certainly didnt mesh with yours....that soon became apparent.
I have fought you, outright disobeyed you, i have desperately tried to cling onto every last bit of control of my being that i can, and slowly, patiently almost without me realising it....everything that i am is yours, how did that creep up on me!...you sneaky man.
In what i thought of as my weak moments, i confess to you that i will do whatever you ask of me, in your arrogance (yes i did say that!) you reply "I know".
Its not a weakness though, and why has it taken me so long to see that.
So yes, i give in, your right
the white flag was raised a long time ago, i just dont recall when.
Odd how those huge things happen and we look back wondering when the exact moment was...
ReplyDeleteyes, i spend so much time i think over analysing that i dont see whats going on around me..if that makes any sense at all lol
Deletex
Beutiful.
ReplyDeletewat was your idea of being a slave like how did you manage if it was both wanting diferent
hisgirl
hi ya
DeleteOh it was the fantasy ideal lol
We managed because if you want it enough i think you do.
x
the depth of layers to this thing are amazing; you think you're *there* only to look back and realize you weren't even close.
ReplyDeleteyes very true....i remember thinking i knew it all...and i had it all sussed...yeah well it was nice thinking that while it lasted lol
Deletex
Mmmmm, love this. And you're right. It's certainly not weakness. Great post!
ReplyDeletethankyou Sarah
DeleteIm grateful that he sees me without judgement,and embraces me for who i am.
x
tori,
ReplyDeleteSometimes it is just easier to accept things.
Hug,
joey
it is yes lol
Deletesometimes though i tend to lean towards the harder route.
x
tori,
ReplyDeleteOr, maybe harder.
Hug,
joey
Daddy has said mouse capitulates....but ya it's surrender...endlessly.
ReplyDeleteHugs,
mouse
had to google what capitulates meant lol
Deleteyes, it never ends, the surrender.
i tended to think that there should be an end goal..but i dont think there is one.
x
wow...i wonder if I will ever get to that place of full whole hearted 100% surrender and submission. I fight it, I disobey, I struggle, I push, I sulk, I try to control. I do everything you did. *sigh* will I ever get there.
ReplyDeleteLovely post tori....you sound so at peace and content :) its lovely.
oh kiwi
Deletei still struggle, push etc..yes not as much as i used to...but well am human and all that lol
thankyou
x