Friday 23 August 2013

The white flag

I surrender.

How has this happened. 

Im a stroppy, sulky bitch, i push you, i give it all the 'well im not happy about this and im going to make sure you are very aware of this in any way i can' dance, im not exactly an epitome of submissiveness.

You persevered, im not sure you can have much patience left!  you saw me for what i was before i even did, it was 'fun' in my mind at the beginning, it still is fun, but my idea of being a slave certainly didnt mesh with yours....that soon became apparent.

I have fought you, outright disobeyed you, i have desperately tried to cling onto every last bit of control of my being that i can, and slowly, patiently almost without me realising it....everything that i am is yours, how did that creep up on me!...you sneaky man.

In what i thought of as my weak moments, i confess to you that i will do whatever you ask of me, in your arrogance (yes i did say that!) you reply "I know".

Its not a weakness though, and why has it taken me so long to see that.

So yes, i give in, your right

the white flag was raised a long time ago, i just dont recall when.









15 comments:

  1. Odd how those huge things happen and we look back wondering when the exact moment was...

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    1. yes, i spend so much time i think over analysing that i dont see whats going on around me..if that makes any sense at all lol

      x

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  2. Beutiful.

    wat was your idea of being a slave like how did you manage if it was both wanting diferent

    hisgirl

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    Replies
    1. hi ya

      Oh it was the fantasy ideal lol

      We managed because if you want it enough i think you do.

      x

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  3. the depth of layers to this thing are amazing; you think you're *there* only to look back and realize you weren't even close.

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    Replies
    1. yes very true....i remember thinking i knew it all...and i had it all sussed...yeah well it was nice thinking that while it lasted lol

      x

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  4. Mmmmm, love this. And you're right. It's certainly not weakness. Great post!

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    1. thankyou Sarah

      Im grateful that he sees me without judgement,and embraces me for who i am.

      x

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  5. tori,

    Sometimes it is just easier to accept things.

    Hug,
    joey

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    Replies
    1. it is yes lol

      sometimes though i tend to lean towards the harder route.

      x

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  6. tori,

    Or, maybe harder.

    Hug,
    joey

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  7. Daddy has said mouse capitulates....but ya it's surrender...endlessly.

    Hugs,
    mouse

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    Replies
    1. had to google what capitulates meant lol

      yes, it never ends, the surrender.

      i tended to think that there should be an end goal..but i dont think there is one.

      x

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  8. wow...i wonder if I will ever get to that place of full whole hearted 100% surrender and submission. I fight it, I disobey, I struggle, I push, I sulk, I try to control. I do everything you did. *sigh* will I ever get there.
    Lovely post tori....you sound so at peace and content :) its lovely.

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    1. oh kiwi

      i still struggle, push etc..yes not as much as i used to...but well am human and all that lol

      thankyou

      x

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