Thursday 10 January 2013

You want to control what!!!!


Being controlled/dominated takes many forms, whether it be strictly bedroom only, or everywhere, down to what you wear, what you eat, what you buy, where you go, who you see, it may be bits of both, whatever is agreed upon as the relationship progresses....it really could be limitless.

Consensual slavery doesnt sit too well with some people, to be fair i think this is because its not understood, we all have our own ideas of what it means, for me a part of it means "whatever is agreed upon" does not apply here, there is no negotiations on what i will or wont submit to, what i will let him control and what i wont.

A "im going out with friends next weekend" could well become a  "may i go out with friends next weekend?", seeing a dress in a shop window and going in and buying it without thought could become something that one no longer does without permission, it could be any number of little things that are usually taken for granted.

It might mean not being able to sit on furniture without permission, not being able to just have that glass of wine you really feel like after a shitty day at work (that one should really be a hard limit!), not wearing a type or a style of clothing that you like, it may mean some or all or none of these things.

These 'things' are not essential to consensual slavery, they may apply to some and not to others, they are not what i would consider exciting or 'hot' compared to say being controlled in a sexual manner or sessions of s/m, tpe (total power exchange) however is not just sex and s/m, but nevertheless these 'things' can be a turn-on, simply because its the knowledge that one is not in control of these basic 'things'.  Knowing that im under his authority and he is in control not just turns me on but gives me peace of mind, security and structure....i know what im allowed/whats acceptable behaviour and what im not and what isnt.

After a while it all becomes the norm, what others might see as ott, i just accept as this is the way it is and shrug it off, sometimes not, sometimes something might crop up that i think is unfair, unreasonable and i try to make a stand, get argumentative and stroppy (yeah well im not going to be writing a book on 'how to be a good submissive' anytime soon)....and

and he doesnt budge, not an inch, not once his mind has been made up, my 'stand' gets me nowhere, and im left frustrated, probably pissed off and you might get the odd rant about it on here when these moments occur but and this is the biggest but...

I want this control, i thrive on it and im happy because i have it.












11 comments:

  1. I enjoy that control as well, tori. Even in the simplest of things, I thrill in the opportunity to serve him. It is delicious and intoxicating. The effect of his words, these requests is immediate, visceral and quite visible. I get that soft floaty feeling, and he says that he sees it wash over me and he likes what he sees....and that's even more delicious.

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    1. Visceral....yes thats very apt, and i agree it is even in the most simplist of things which make it more delicious.

      x

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  2. Tori this is so well thought through. It was accepting and well explained. I personally find that control is one of the most powerful aphrodisiacs. I love it, I fantasize about it, I crave it.

    ~fiona

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    1. thankyou fiona

      Being controlled was and is my first love, the kink is important to me but i would give it all up and have the control if i had to choose.

      x

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    1. thanks for this post Tori..I do learn a lot about this world from your blog. All those things that fascinate but i was too frightened to ask!

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    2. hi little

      Thanks, you know feel free to ask what you like, i may not well have the answers...coz half the time im searching for them myself lol

      x

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  4. You are so right. How did you get in my brain? Again!

    Those little day to day rules for service or permission are so important. Even on the days I feel constrained, maybe even a little chafing under them, I need them and appreciate them. Not everyone is going to understand the need or the enjoyment of living this way, but it is clear to me.

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    1. lmao im not sure i get whats going on in my brain half the time.

      Yes i agree i dont think everyone is going to understand its one of these areas where one either gets it or they dont.

      x

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  5. I have a love hate relationship with that not budging stuff lol. On the one hand, I hate that I can't change his mind sometimes, no matter how hard I try. On the other hand, I love that he is consistent and gives me clear rules and boundaries. It's when he does budge that I start getting frustrated. I need the boundaries and I need the consequences. I thrive with them. Great post Tori!

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    1. oh i have a love/hate relationship with it too, im glad he is consistent but then it irks the life out of me when he is at the time lol

      x

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