I have been pondering (never a good thing) if i expect too much from him, i mean like im submissive but do i always feel like submitting? heck no, and realistically im not always going to be actively submitting but i do get agitated if i dont feel im getting his active dominance, even though duh! he cant always be dominating me...make any sort of logical sense?
I expect him to know when i want something from him, i can ask, and im comfortable with that, but i expect him to know and to then give me what i want...yes i know not very submissive (but i am only human).
The simple obvious soloution is to just outright state "Sir, i would like you to xyz please" the worst that can happen is i get a "no" and thats ok...ok well its not because then i have to accept that no...and a no is always a no..so no i prefer to ignore the simple soloution and make it more complicated by sitting there getting myself wound up because he isnt reading my mind...and men (not all men) really arent that great with picking up subtle hints.
Actually sometimes i think he does pick up the hints but he chooses to ignore them because he knows what im doing and he is waiting for me to ask..that or he just enjoys knowing im tormenting myself.
I think sometimes i expect his dominance to be in-tune with my submission and thats not always going to happen, but i wander if what im really expecting is him to exert his dominance when i want it and it comes full circle..that he cant or wont want to be dominating me all the time much like i dont always and cant be submitting.
If these rambles make any sense....you deserve a glass of wine...coz thats what im needing.
tori,
ReplyDeleteMy wife wants me to read her mind, but I cannot. But,she can read my mind and therefore expects me to know what she wants. It is one of those mysteries of the universe that confounds males and females.
I am drinking some red wine right now and contemplating how to please her desires.
Hug,
joey
I know your right joey and it is one of these things that will never be fully understood but still i want him to read my mind lol
DeleteHope you enjoyed the wine, red is my favourite.
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Your ramble makes lots of sense. Of course, that could be because you are apparently residing in my brain at the moment...
ReplyDeletelmao
DeleteIts frustrating isnt it? i know its unreasonable but i cant help it and it all could be easily avoided lol
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Tori, I soooo get this!!! I struggle with wanting his telepathy skills to mystically appear!!! It never has and I know it won't and I'm more than capable of communicating...BUT...I still, periodically, get caught in the trap of mind reading desires.
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Fiona
It does seem a common trait amongst submissives that you have to feel sorry for the dominants lol
Deletex
What a difficult thing this communication is!
ReplyDeleteI swear Sir knows exactly what I want..and need.
Of course he says he does NOT and I'd be much better off by talking and telling and asking..which is head. I don't want to hear "no" anymore than you do.
Good luck in finding the balance~!
It is difficult but i wander if we make it difficult through overthinking....ahh the balance..im seeking it out lol
Deletex
hi tori dont need a glass of wine to get what your saying...lol....i know exactly what you mean, if only they could mind read everything would be perfect...lol.
ReplyDeleteblossom x
It would wouldnt it but then we would probably moan if they could read our minds..they cant win lol
Deletex
It makes so much sense to me, because it's all in my head the same way. We don't read each other's minds (well, occasionally he reads mine, but I don't expect it). If I feel the need for some overt, obvious domination, I pretty much just have to wait around patiently for it. It's not something I can ask for, it's just something that happens as he feel he needs to do it, which seems right to me. If I'm in the mood for a certain kind of play then I can ask for that, but that is not the same at all as having the leash jerked, that is asking for a favor. He might say yes or no, and I accept that.
ReplyDeleteYep that all makes sense, i am happy to ask, he likes me too but well sometimes i dont want to and hence why i expect him to read my mind..completley unrealistic i know lol
Deletex
i get it. i get you. it's not rambling. we're cursed with the need to have them read our minds. lol.
ReplyDeleteFiona yells at me when i'm going crazy in my own little corner that i should just TELL HIM. TALK TO HIM. COMMUNICATE!
um, i think i'm an awesome talker. but clearly i still get caught in the "you should know what i need" warp.
lol your right it is a curse, but a popular one that i fear strikes all submissives or is it just woman in general!
DeleteYeah i can do the talking, im all for communicating but well read my mind as well goddammmit lol
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tori,
ReplyDeleteI'm just back from a trip and i crashed into this problem in a spectacular way on my return. You make perfect sense. And you are so level-headed about it. I just wish that I could be as rational sometimes.
hi greengirl
DeleteThanks, its a tricky one this because well its unreasonable to expect them to read our minds, i try to be rational and level-headed but i often fail lol
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