We dont often touch on his sadism, but at the weekend we had a discussion about it.
When the bossman says these words (post title) i know its going to be rough, i know that the pain he is going to inflict on me will be to sate his needs and i said to him that at these times he wants me to suffer, he prefers it when i dont enjoy it and he agreed that this was a correct observation.
I accept this but i cant quite say i understand it, but i guess its one of those things if your not that way ie likeminded then you cant understand and im not sadistic so i cant relate to what it does for him. He has said that he wouldnt enjoy hurting a sub/slave that did not desire it at all and of course not all submissives are masochists. I asked him if he would enjoy hurting someone that was masochistic but not submissive at all and he said he would and he asked if i doubted my submission, and i dont not at all but i admitted to doubting my masochism.
I know he would like to push me a lot harder than he does and on the times he hurts me for his pleasure he does take me beyond what i can cope with and pushes my limits to near on breaking point, i dont know he just seems to know how far he can go...and he admits its not as far as he would at times like but its ok...Rome wasnt built in a day.
I still didnt quite get how if he didnt like hurting subs that dont enjoy pain at all how come he likes hurting me at times in ways i really dont like, and is it better hurting someone that desires it but is not submissive? he has explained the difference is that it excites me mentally and physically it arouses me, i would miss those times if they didnt happen so yes i kind of got a better understanding, i do desire it i just dont like it. But a driving force of what compels me to want to go further and endure is the need to please him, to sate his desires and also my love of being controlled and not having a choice and he said he wouldnt get that from someone that was not submissive and that makes the difference.