I have and can make choices, i have many trivial choices..i choose whether i want a shower or a bath, i choose whether i want cereal or toast for my breakfast, some choices i make are run of the mill, some have consequences, some require me to think about whether the bossman would approve or not and then there are those choices that would be detrimental to us and to the very foundation of our relationship.
There are also many things he does not allow me a choice in, some being trivial and i dont bat an eyelid, some irritate me but i accept it without complaint and then there are some that cause me to become defensive, i dont agree, i dont like and i dont want to go along with it and i let him know as much...oh but i am left with a choice..i can choose to obey or not, but if i choose not to obey there are consequences and ones i wont like and i will still have to obey even after the aftermath of the consequences.
but its all just pretend really isnt it? he cant make me do or agree to something i dont want because that would be abuse wouldnt it?
I know what my answer is to those questions...No...this reality of M/s isnt a game because unlike a game its not always fun to play.
Monopoly is a game - one that is addicting and what have you, but it is not always fun - sometimes it is torture and enemies are born. So we don't play Monopoly in our house. I don't know what that has to do with this, but I assume nothing.
ReplyDeleteWell, obviously, at the end of the day, you can be released from any relationship. Right? So, no you don't have to play. But with small hateful moments come a larger whole that you like, so there's that.
hi kitty
DeleteI wrote this after receiving an email (a nice one) questioning isnt it meant to be fun all of the time or to that extent, and it got me pondering.
hence this post..which im guessing didnt really explain well what i was thinking but then half the time im not sure what rambles through my head lol
x
To me this isn't a game. A game is just something you do for fun, and to pass time. My life with Master is how we try to bring out the best in each other, and while it may not be fun for either of us sometimes, it definitely goes beyond just being a game. Sure, relationships where the dynamic lives in the bedroom might be considered that way, but for those of us that don't really take a break from ttwd, it's much more than that.
ReplyDeleteThanks kitten this is what i was trying to say but perhaps didnt put it very well, im not suggesting that its any better but just that for some it is more than bedroom and 'play' and there is nothing wrong with that either.
Deletex
I don't think it's a game or pretend but for different reasons than it not being fun sometimes.
ReplyDeleteWe agree to follow the rules of our Dominant partner. We agree (to whatever extent) to have our choices taken away. We agree to TTWD. If we refuse, you are right, we can’t really be forced without it being considered abuse. But this would violate the expections of both partners when they entered into the D/s relationship. It would fundamentally undermine the relationship and perhaps begin to destroy it.
If someone wants to look at D/s or M/s as a game, then it really is as much as a game as a non-TTWD relationship. In non-TTWD, the partners start a relationship and have certain expectations of how the other will act. If one partner violates those expectations in a significant way, there will be consequences which could lead to the ultimate breakdown of the relationship.
It is not pretend. The entire relationship is at stake.
My $.02 anyway. :-) love, squirrel
hello squirrel
DeleteI think that a big element of this is consent and yes what you said about expectations, what is agreed on etc.
I think perhaps i may tackle this again in a more clearer way.
xxx
Hi Tori
ReplyDeleteI now understand a little more about what we discussed so this makes sense to me and thankyou for your advice.
happygirl x
you are very welcome besides you inspired this post..now how about taking my advice and get blogging lol
Deletexx
I understood completely. Sometimes when I get particulary irritated Sir will ask me "Are you sure you just don't want a bedroom play partner?"
ReplyDeleteI look at him like he's crazy, usually get punished and then snap out of it....not much fun but comforting and where I want to be.
hi ya dancing
DeleteYes i get this..the bossman said to me ages ago now, way back when we first started that i needed to decide whether i wanted a lover with kink thrown in or an Owner!
but yes its not always fun but its where we want to be,
xx
I am not sure anything we do is a game, or can always be about having fun. Everything we do, everything we say has consequences. We all have choices all of the time. My D/s relationship is not a full time thing, my marriage is. In this particular context the above applies.
ReplyDeleteI think this is something i might write about since there is lots that i want to say on this subject.
hi Joolz
DeleteI dont think i made my point very well, or rather i left it open to misinterpretation...I think im going to tackle this again myself lol and hopefully be clearer.
xx
Sometimes one suspects that the language we use is utterly inadequate for the job at hand. It's not so much that we aren't clear, as much as we are hamstrung by words that often mean the complete opposite of what we are trying to convey.
ReplyDeleteYes I would agree with that 100%, i know what i want to say but it doesnt always appear clear.
DeleteI don't understand. What's wrong about to want and to have a bedroom play partner when submission is felt and lived wholeheartedly?
ReplyDeleteIs only 24/7 the real deal?
Is there a class A and a class B submission?
And what's wrong about having fun? I'm so sick of this conception.
2green_cateyes
Sorry...off topic
There is nothing wrong to want and to have bedroom play, i dont know what your point is?
Deleteis only 24/7 the real deal? nope and im not sure how you have interepreted my writing into thinking this?
Is there a class A and class B submission? again have i said that?
This is about what works for me, i really dont want to have to start putting disclaimers at the start of every blog post to explain that this is a blog about my dynamic because of people being over sensitive.
It is not about being better than anyone else, there are so many different forms off ttwd out there..and this is mine.