Just enough

 Im not a huge fan of being whipped and most of the time i will beg him not to as soon as i realise his intent, its pointless but nevertheless i still have that little bit of hope in me that he wont even though we both know that even though i protest that if he did indeed give into my begging i would be disappointed...i know i confuse myself.!

So this time when he instructed me to get on the cross the usual pattern started "i really dont want to be whipped" and the usual reply "I know, get on the cross" one last pity look in his direction which just gets ignored and i get on it and i wait to be restrained....and..he doesnt restrain me so this is not the usual pattern 90% of the time im restrained, he knows i prefer to be tied up it means i cant get away so i have to accept it and i simply prefer being in bondage it makes me feel secure and safe.

So im a bit uneasy at this point and i dont have time to dwell on it before he starts so i just grip on to the cross tightly ready for the first strike and the first one in a way is the worst because its anticipating it because i know i dont like it because it bloody hurts...single tails are not my friends.  I cant remember how many it was not a lot and it wasnt that hard either but i knew he had lined up a few whips he wanted to use so i begged for a different one, specifically i begged for the multi tailed whip and he obliged so i figured why not push my luck and ask to be hooded as well..i do love to be hooded.

Then he had me turn over and im even worse at coping with the whip on my front so there was a few moments of covering my tits and being told to put my arms away...this is why i prefer being restrained it removes that option...im all for the fewer choices available the better!   I did struggle with this more but i was determined that i would endure as long as i could and just when i thought it was getting too much and i was ready to move away he stopped.

It was managable, he wasnt in a particularly sadistic mood and i missed that, i wanted his cruelty it was though just enough for me, like it was enough to satisty my craving for pain but within what i can reasonable handle...how do they judge that so well?

I stood with the back to my cross waiting, i couldnt see him and my hearing isnt too good with the hood on either, and minutes seemed to go by with nothing happening just silence, wandering is there going to be more and then he grabs my nipple twisting and pulling it roughly, pressing himself against me i could feel his arousal, he removed me from the cross putting me onto my back on the spanking bench he thrust into me...i cant write about sex i really cant it i just find it difficult..it was rough, i was sore but on a high from the pain and i got a few orgasms out of it.