I dont like being spanked especially otk but yet a lot of blogs i follow are about spanking and sex and i enjoy reading them, i think its because not only do i like to read other opinions and thoughts..im all for broadening the mind but another reason is trying to understand why i dont get the whole erotic side of spanking.
Ok i know we are all different, hell i suspect that many dont get what i find erotic about being caned or whipped but if i like those then surely a spanking is quite mild in comparison. It is i think how we process these activities in our heads that makes a difference, for me being spanked i associate with being treated as a child (i was not spanked as a child) and therefore find it hugely humiliating on the times he has spanked me, its not the pain aspect it hurts yes but my feelings of being humiliated and how degrading i find it are more profound for me that the pain.
Its not even like the first time he spanked me was in any way associated with punishment or anything negative, but i just recall the first time he made me get over his lap it had me feeling mortified and embarrassed which considering he has had me in more exposed positions really was silly but its how i felt. I will beg for things i dont like rather than be spanked, i can just about tolerate it as a warm-up ready for other implements but i prefer other implements being used lightly as a warm-up to build up to a heavy session.
I dont think i have come accross anyone that thinks like me yet im sure i cant be alone in thinking this, i read blogs of erotic spanking and it sounds appealing and i think what is wrong with me that i dont get those warm fuzzy feelings.