Still after over 5 years of being with bossman i get excited about trying new things, there are still so many experiences that i want, my enthusiasm is just as great as any one first starting on this journey, i dont want to lose that, but (there is always a but!) its not all 24/7 kink even if the dynamic is, by kink i mean s/m, bondage, it happens obviously but i wouldnt say regularly certainly not the heavier stuff.
I dont mind this, my first and biggest love is being controlled/dominated the kink is secondry but sometimes i feel that the bossman doesnt have the same enthusiasm or excitment as i do, he has never said this and its more than likely me overthinking as normal, but i do wander does the enthusiasm and excitment wear off? He has been doing this a lot longer than me and bar one thing there is nothing he has done with me that he hasnt with anyone else, he knows what he likes and doesnt because he has the experience behind him...i dont.
I asked yesterday if we could try something new, something that i havent done and to be fair he suggested some things, some scared me (pass on those i think for a while if i can get away with it) and others gave me that exciting tingly feeling and next time we get around to it we will try one or more of what he suggested. So what am i bloody whinning about, he was fine, he didnt give me any impression that he wasnt enthusiastic....i guess, no i dont guess i know, i feel slightly resentful..not sure if thats the accurate word...that i have to ask, because if he had wanted to do these things then why hasnt he introduced them already? is it because he has been there done that and its not really something that appeals to him?
I should just ask him outright, i know i should, he is always honest, too brutally honest at times and i think thats why im reluctant to ask because what if the answer is the one i dont want to hear? Then its like what right do i have to feel this resentment...if its that, the man has introduced me to so many varied scenarios of pain and pleasure, i have had fantasies made reality...im lucky i know i am shouldnt i be happy with what we do do after all i should know from previous experiences 'beware of what you ask for'.