Still after over 5 years of being with bossman i get excited about trying new things, there are still so many experiences that i want, my enthusiasm is just as great as any one first starting on this journey, i dont want to lose that, but (there is always a but!) its not all 24/7 kink even if the dynamic is, by kink i mean s/m, bondage, it happens obviously but i wouldnt say regularly certainly not the heavier stuff.
I dont mind this, my first and biggest love is being controlled/dominated the kink is secondry but sometimes i feel that the bossman doesnt have the same enthusiasm or excitment as i do, he has never said this and its more than likely me overthinking as normal, but i do wander does the enthusiasm and excitment wear off? He has been doing this a lot longer than me and bar one thing there is nothing he has done with me that he hasnt with anyone else, he knows what he likes and doesnt because he has the experience behind him...i dont.
I asked yesterday if we could try something new, something that i havent done and to be fair he suggested some things, some scared me (pass on those i think for a while if i can get away with it) and others gave me that exciting tingly feeling and next time we get around to it we will try one or more of what he suggested. So what am i bloody whinning about, he was fine, he didnt give me any impression that he wasnt enthusiastic....i guess, no i dont guess i know, i feel slightly resentful..not sure if thats the accurate word...that i have to ask, because if he had wanted to do these things then why hasnt he introduced them already? is it because he has been there done that and its not really something that appeals to him?
I should just ask him outright, i know i should, he is always honest, too brutally honest at times and i think thats why im reluctant to ask because what if the answer is the one i dont want to hear? Then its like what right do i have to feel this resentment...if its that, the man has introduced me to so many varied scenarios of pain and pleasure, i have had fantasies made reality...im lucky i know i am shouldnt i be happy with what we do do after all i should know from previous experiences 'beware of what you ask for'.
Maybe he just didn't really think about those things you asked for. Though I feel weird asking for more too. Goodluck and I can't wait to hear about the new things you might try.
ReplyDeleteIt is probably something as simple as that faerie, i know i have a habit of making a mountain out of a molehill lol
DeleteThe new things yeah well..will let you know about that, some i would be quite happy to pass on!
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hi tori... i can understand asking for things and how wierd it seems..lol we expect them to be the be all and end all font of knowledge but it also lets him see that you are still interested to experience new things, its not all one sided then that you are as committed in developing the relationship further...just my tuppence worth..lol
ReplyDeleteblossom x
hi blossom
DeleteWell they should know it all lol....seriously though yes i understand your point and its an aspect i hadnt considered, he also does like and in some ways prefer for me to ask for things..it will all work out eventually.
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Mrs. AP usually doesn't ask for things until I show an inkling of interest in it. I'm more like to ask for or suggest things, but then I get caught up sometimes in not having quite enough knowledge to expand on why I want said thing or how I think we should go about it.
ReplyDeleteThere could be any number of reasons why he didn't think to ask you / demand you to try these things you've asked about, but the most likely answer is he was waiting for you to develop to the point of showing interest. You've said sometimes a Dom's best tool is patience. Don't forget that about him. :-)
Stay SINful
Mr. AP
ooh Mr AP your so right, i did say that about patience didnt i lol, i shall have to practice what i preach..i do confess though patience isnt my strongest point...i think sometimes its easy to get caught up in wanting to do everything, when really its best to take time and explore everything properly.
ReplyDeletex