There has been a spate of posts it seems recently about punishment, Misty's in particular identified her thoughts about wanting punishment, and her conflicts with wanting it. http://submissiontosubmissive.blogspot.co.uk/2013/10/punishment.html?zx=74de7e2bb064e4b1
"I'm not talking of play punishment, I want a punishment that I don't want. That makes no sense, no sense at all. Is it a punishment if I want it?"
I dont think punishment is essential to ttwd, its dependent on the individual submissives needs, how the relationship works for both.....some need it, some dont.
We use punishment in our relationship, recently i had some conflicts with it myself, mainly this thought in my head that by now i shouldnt need to be punished, and that because i still i am (albeit not often) im failing.
After a lot of overthinking, discussion, debating, deliberation and going around in circles, i was prompted to think about how it would be if he decided that actually punishment would no longer be a part of our relationship.
And......i didnt like that thought, but yet i dont like being punished!
My thoughts are that although i dont like it, i need it and i want it, because i need the security, the comfort of knowing he will hold me accountable for my actions, if he were to do nothing, i would feel like he didnt care, and then i would really feel like im failing, that im not good enough for him to warrant helping me when i falter.
So it takes me back around to Mistys comment, as quoted above.
It makes sense, i dont want to be punished because it means i have disobeyed/displeased him, but i want it for the very same reasons, i need the slate clean, for him its simply actions have consequences, and i need to repent, i couldnt deal with the guilt and feeling sorry without it, punishment removes those feelings and allows me to move on....with a lesson learned.
It works for me, for us..mostly i would say for me, it may well be that he didnt use punishment with a previous submissive because they didnt need it, its pretty much like most aspects of ttwd..there isnt a one size fits all.