Wednesday, 23 October 2013

Dear parents....work, vanilla, rant!

Yesterday was just one of those days i was glad when the work day ended, parent/teacher meetings, i was sat in with the teachers for the children that i work with, there are always the inevitable PPs..what we call the problem parents.

We are not allowed to be honest, well rather words have to be chosen carefully.

You have the "my child is an angel, incapable of doing anything wrong, its always another childs fault, theirs is just misunderstood.

So you sit and try carefully to explain that their child can be quite aggressive to other children, using inappropriate language, and how can we work together to change this behaviour...and the response "oh, no, not my child, he/she is not like that at home, its other children telling tales, you should pay more attention to what the others are doing instead of blaming my little darling, they bully him because he is so sensitive"

Ahem..yes cough...splutter.  Dear parent, your child is a spoilt, undisciplined bully, that clearly has indulgent parent(s) that gives into their every whim rather than say no.

Nope not allowed to say that.

One poor teacher had a father get very aggressive with her, shouting and stabbing his finger into her chest, because he couldnt understand why his daughter was struggling with school work, why she is has been on the same reading level for months, exclaiming the incompetence of the school, the teacher, they are interested in whats going on with their child but will not listen to advice on how to help.

Dear parent, she is a lovely child, perhaps if you made the time to read her school book with her which she brings home every night, but it comes back to school every day unread (even twice a week  would be of benefit), perhaps you could take 10 mins out of your time to help her with her homework which is set once a week....oh but then its never brought back in..in fact the sheet that was given out in the first week back in September has not been seen since...maybe even help her with her spellings, its only 5 words a week!

Nope not allowed to say that.

Then you have the pushy parent(s), these are the ones that have great expectations of their child and failure on the childs part to meet these expectations are met with disappointment, the child is pushed hard, anything less than 100% is not acceptable, they want their child pushed harder, more homework, they dont come to school to have fun!

Dear parent, your child is 7 years old, they are not doing a degree, let them have a childhood its short enough as it is, the pressure your putting your child under is heartbreaking, the get distressed if they get something wrong, usually because they know they face your disappointment.

Nope not allowed to say that.

Ahh the "its so much effort" parents, you have to make sure they have the first appointment so you can catch them as soon as the school day is over, even then its a huge effort "well make it quick, im busy", there not really interested in how their child is getting on, its the schools job to educate them, not ours, what they get up to at school has nothing to do with us.  They dont attend school functions, plays etc, and its probably best to make the most of what little input they have because as soon as the child reaches the juniors and doesnt need to be met at the door....you wont see them again unless its absolutely essential...and they will moan at the inconvenience.

Dear parent, i appreciate you may well have a busy life, but if your going to have children, make time for them, your child will thrive so much better if they have your support and interest...and its nice for them to have their parents see them at school plays, sports day's...and its heartbreaking for us to see their faces fill with disappointment when they are looking out for mummy and/or  daddy....and they are never there.

But nope not allowed to say that.

Thankfully these parents are the minority, most generally are interested, they want to know how their child behaves, how they are getting on, do they need help, what can they do etc etc

Generally the ones that moan about the school or the teacher are the parents that fit into one or the above categories.






















20 comments:

  1. Hi Tori, argh, it must be so frustrating! If only you could say those things and we weren't so hung up on being politically correct. I'm sure the children would be better off for it!

    Hugs,
    Roz

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    1. oh Roz, dont get me started on being politically correct..lol

      They probably would be better off but still there is no guarantee the parents would listen!

      x

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  2. tori,

    Very frustrating. I have had experience teaching.

    Hug,
    joey

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    Replies
    1. oh it is.....its head..bang..wall lol

      x

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  3. Then you have the pushy parent(s), these are the ones that have great expectations of their child and failure on the childs part to meet these expectations are met with disappointment, the child is pushed hard, anything less than 100% is not acceptable, they want their child pushed harder, more homework, they dont come to school to have fun!

    Oh dear, I am afraid I see my Master in this comment. This is how he is at parent/teacher conferences with our kids. Yes, he pushes them to do their best. Sometimes it takes a lot of pushing. We do have fun too, at home, but that is totally how he comes across to the teacher.

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    1. Its interesting ancilla because mostly it is the dads with their sons, i do wander if its a man thing?

      x

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  4. Having been brought up in a family of teachers, what put me off following them? Not the kids but the parents! oh, plus the paperwork, that too.
    Hugs DF

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    Replies
    1. oh the paperwork....that pisses me off as well, so much of it pointless.

      x

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  5. Tori ... You deserve a medal!!! Seriously.

    (((Hugs)))
    gk

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    1. lol thankyou

      i do love my job i really do, its just so frustrating at times.

      x

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  6. that is a rough day tori...some parents dont have a clue!! can be difficult trying to be diplomatic all the time...sighs

    hope you chilled out with a glass of wine...smiles

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    1. Some days are just worse than others....like most jobs..and i get worked up..can you tell lol

      A glass of wine!!!!bottle would be better lol

      x

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  7. Damn parents! Oh wait... That's me isn't it.

    Joking aside, it is really sad. For teachers and kids.

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  8. You forgot one...what mouse calls the helicopter parent. The child is wonderful, but it's also because the parent hovers over the child and does most art projects for them so they'll look better on the fridge. They're over-involved. They carry their own art supplies and first aid kit. They exist only for their kids and haven't a life of their own anymore. They don't let the child play, every moment is filled with constructive, character building activities you'd love to tell them to just back off because their kid is wonderful but falling asleep during school. Not at important learning times though.

    Don't know what the letter would really sound like, but honestly mouse knows more than one to hand it to. :)

    Hugs,
    mouse

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    1. oh yes.....thats my sister-in-law

      Its like every Christmas there is cake decorating competition for each class, its made clear its about fun, for the children to do....wow!!! you should see the amazing displays of beautiful cake designs that come in....these kids could win Masterchef lol

      x

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  9. I work for one of those parents(no discipline give him anything ge wants aside from attention) Its a pain in the ass.
    Im sorry you have to deal with so many of them Tori
    -hugs-

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    1. It is a pain in the ass, because i really dont think they see what damage they are doing.

      x

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  10. Well I have a child in every realm..one who struggles grade wise..one who gets in troublefor annoying things and one who gets awesome grades but talks a lot...

    the first and lost are like me and the middle is his father..lol

    honestly the one who gets in trouble he is way different in school than at home..my friend was his teacher last yr and her and I couldn't believe it..he doesn't cus at the teachers he just likes to argue...I know he's not perfect..I just wish they would paddle him and move on...he's in 8th grade been in ms since 5th and the last couple yrs been rough..I get calls for petty stuff then some stuff that appalls me the principal says he's a boy...omg I tell ya I'm tired of them all..lol..

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    1. It is difficult, my daughter sounds similar to your son..i swear when i get the school reports that they have given me the wrong one lol

      To be fair though, its not all parents, there are teachers out there that really shouldnt be teaching.

      x

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