Tuesday 30 July 2013

Pondering that *line*

I was reading over at http://xpygarx.blogspot.co.uk/2013/07/marked.html and he linked to a short video clip of a women showing her marks off, and subsequently the post was regarding marks, his thoughts on them, and he posed some questions that got me thinking.

"Despite the consensual nature of such play is there a point though at which I should be concerned for a sub who likes to be severely beaten and marked? Is there not a line that should not be crossed by a Dom even when the sub desires that he go further and treat her even more severely? Clearly lasting physical harm may be one line - but even if it is not lasting harm, is it always justifiable? Is there a point where one needs to think of the psychological health of the sub as well as the physical health? Is it always ok to desire such pain and marking?"

When i watched the clip my initial reactions was along the lines of "well thats not bad at all" i certainly wouldnt have thought them severe...and then i dwelled on this (like i do) i thought..

have i become de-sensitised to images of s/m, and if so how does that reflect on me? so this morning i looked again, and i tried to think from a 'fresh' perspective and yes they are very vivid marks, and yes perhaps severe, i like them, i respected them...if that makes any sense at all.

But back to the questions Pygar posed,

what is considered severe though?  i wander perhaps if its difficult to determine, my idea of severe may well not be the same as someone elses,

Crossing the line though, hmm i think SSC or RACK applies, should always apply.  Is it justifiable?

for us s/m is about mutual enjoyment, there have been times when i have desired to go further and he has not allowed it..those times have been when i have been on such a 'high' i am in no fit state to assess my own physical limitations.....so he does that for me...i trust his judgement over mine...always.

I like to be treated severely, his cruelty turns me on, excites me, not always i hasten to add but most of the time we feed off one another, he loves my tears, screams and begging as much as i love the embrace of his whip, the kiss of the cane, and his taunts, if not at the time then definitley afterwards i relish those moments.

So is it justifiable? gosh yes when it provides so much pleasure and for us is more intimate than sex and certainly more satisfying.

Long term psychological health as well as physical health should be considered, i admit im still brooding on this, i think again it comes down to being sensible...

Personally as much as i love the more 'severe' sessions i am happy to have milder scenes as well, i do though yes like to have some marks, and feel a bit 'put out' if there are not any afterwards, but not to the point its an issue.

So yeah i think its ok to always desire such pain and marking but desiring and actually having it are different, i desire it but i know damn well i couldnt handle it on a constant basis and he wouldnt do that either.

I think a lot of responsibility is placed on the dominant, in keeping aware of his subs mental health as well as the physical, a 'good' dominant surely wouldnt want to damage his sub intentionally?








13 comments:

  1. Thank you tori, I think you ask the questions and give the answers I have been seeking in this and even though not all is answered as you say. It tickles my ine to think things far more through.

    love ara

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    Replies
    1. hi ara

      lol sometimes i think i make things so compliated after writing a post im left asking myself more questions....but im glad you understood it..sometimes i really do overthink lol

      x

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  2. As far as long term physical health, that is the responsibility of both parties. What I mean is that both should be well acquainted with how beating the body and leaving such marks affect the sub long term physically. Obviously, there are certain areas that are too never be stricken as internal damage could result. A good Dom is aware of this, and also should learn at what degree or magnitude a sub bruises, etc. This will help the Dom make the right judgement for the well being of the sub. At least, that is my opinion.

    As far as psychological, don't you think this is where the aftercare comes into play?

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    1. Yep aftercare is important, however i must be honest and say that for me i get off on sometimes being left alone immediatly afterwards, i dont want his concern etc.

      But certainly at some point i think if both need it there needs to be discussion, i stress if both need it because some dont, not on every occassion.

      It is though the mental aspects that often do get overlooked though i think.

      x

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  3. Thanks for your personal and fascinating response tori. I found it interesting to compare your blog post with a comment by Mistress Mari here. It was interesting that there was much commonality in the views of a sub and a Dom on this issue. In particular you both put the responsibility firmly in the hands of the Dom.

    Good luck

    P xx

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    1. Thanks

      I think the Dom does hold the majority of the responsibilty, however i do think the sub has the responsibilty of keeping the dom informed of her/his mental/physical health, rather than hide anything...it simply requires open, honest communication.

      x

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  4. tori,

    I agree with everything you said. My Domme friend can be cruel during play,but she is a sweetheart whom I adore.

    She is always looking at my marks and cuts. And, she is very protective when I play with others. I do not want internal damage nor do I want scars that last for months.

    When I top, I will not continue if I break skin with a cane. I never have, but it is my limit.

    Hug,
    joey



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    1. It is about balance i think joey, i want his cruelty, i crave it at times but i know he loves and cares about me so even through the fear im safe.

      Yes he wants to hurt me, but damage? no.

      x

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  5. tori,

    I saw the video and photos of marks. I do not consider the marks or bruises excessive, but I play hard and expect some blood and heavy marks.

    Plus she loves them.

    joey

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    1. I didnt either joey, which did niggle me initially but then like yourself i do tend to play hard (however that is defined lol) so when we do being marked excessively is 'normal'.

      x

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  6. love marks, can't have them as our ttwd is illicit. An affair to remember and i miss having my marks. I would hope not to have the marks displayed in pygars attachment. I worry that i will have to go to the hospital or Dr for some reason and my secret will be exposed!

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    1. Little,

      Talk to your Dom. Mine leaves bruises, just not visible ones. He well torture my tits to the point that even wearing a bra hurts, for a few days. Also, He has left one on my neck. Anytime i touched it, i could feel the bruise.

      I have agreed to certain spots because i bruise easily to begin with.

      Xx

      H.S.

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    2. Yes i can understand how marks would be a problem, is that part of your agreement with hubby, no marks?

      But one of the great things about pain is it can be inflicted a lot without the need for severe marking...electrics for example.

      x

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