In replying to a comment which asked if i could have anal fisting as a hard limit, and surely i have a choice, i figured my reply would be so long i may as well make it a post.
A beautiful sunny day, the bossman may well ask "what would you like to do today?"
and most normally my response is "i dont mind, what would you like to do?"
its not because im so 'doormatish' that i cant or wont say where i would like to go....simply im laid back...or more accurately im incredibly indecisive..if we had to wait for me to make that decision we would end up going nowhere.
Im easy going, and generally just happy to go with the flow, sometimes he will push me into making a decision for myself, and honestly i know it sounds pathetic but i get my knickers in a twist..."why cant you just tell me what to do?" i will say.
Now i am more than capable of making decisions and i do regularly, with work, the children, whats for dinner, etc etc but in many areas i prefer having a structure that is solid, one in which the boundries are so firmly in place so i know where i stand rather than have uncertainty, i like the security of knowing that mostly he decides what is for the best.
Of course, anal fisting (and/or any aspect of s/m, our relationship) is more complicated than simply making a decision about where to go out to...but the principle is the same.
So, simply by removing 'choice' and 'limits' i dont have that uncertainty, or deliberations over 'do i want to or not' , it does not mean that no consideration is given to how i feel, he wants and encourages my thoughts....and although im incredibly indecisive and laid-back...it doesnt effect my ability to have an opinion..if anything im too opinionated!
But most important is that even though he 'owns' my choices and limits....well all of me, he doesnt want to damage me physically or mentally....and i know he would not do anything that would cause this and if he thought that there was this risk then it would stop....but yes he will 'nudge' and 'push' me along the way.
If i had choices and limits..and they were mine.....hmmm i would have missed out on the most wanderful experiences i have had that i would have not wanted to do....yeah sometimes its been the case that i havent liked it and i would rather not do them again..but you know what...
i wouldnt have it any other way.