Last night was a girly night, my friend has very recently had her final divorce papers through so we were celebrating, it had been a difficult year and more for her, but she is doing so well, better than she thought she would...so it was kind of a 'finger up' to the ex celebration.
She posed a thought, that most certainly did get all of us thinking..."how safe and secure do you think your relationship is?"
see her ex husband had been having an affair, been going on for at least a year...and she didnt have a clue, as far as she was aware their marriage was doing great, they still had an active sex life, enjoyed family time (they have 3 kids) and in no way did she suspect at all.
and this is what has tormented her the last year, more than anything else.....that she really didnt have a clue! and it knocked her big time that everything she believed was real....wasnt.... that they were happy....gone!, she braved it out for her children but i was worried about her as were her other friends.
They did initially try to work through it but for her the trust was gone and they separated.
But now nearly 2 years on she is doing amazingly, but the scars are there, wary of dating again, trust issues which i think is understandable.
Anyway yeah it did get me thinking.
I trust the bossman completely...(like she trusted her husband?), i suppose a difference being if Master wanted to have sex with someone else..he would be upfront about it..but still....i keep coming back to..
how safe and secure is our relationship? anyones...
I have been where your friend has, 17 years ago. It is horrible and you do start doubting yourself, I thought it was me, how stupid was I to not see what was going on.
ReplyDeleteBut I did meet someone else, remarried, the feelings of mistrust of my new husband have never really gone away, they are just managed better. But I did slowly have to start trusting myself because not to do so would be the biggest tragedy and I would never have found happiness again.
It does get easier.
Susan
hi Susan
DeleteI like what you said about having to trust yourself.....that gave me something to stew on.
x
I trust my hubby completely.......until depression and anxiety take hold!! Unfortunately he works away a lot which doesn't help. Even in the grip of anxiety deep down in the back of my brain I still trust him though x Sarah
ReplyDeletehi Sarah
DeleteI think there has to be trust until something happens to really rock that trust..to never have had it all i think would be just as detrimental to the relationship.
x
if there is no trust then there is nothing. And i think until that trust is truly broken, you can only go on trusting that person, otherwise you can tie yourself into knots wondering whether the trust is real or not (if that makes sense). I am so sorry for your friend and what she went through. Time is a great healer and eventually she will get to the place she wants to be. Hugs kiwi xx
ReplyDeleteIt does make sense, and i agree, i realise after thinking it through..that you have to have that trust until something happens to damage it..but to never have it cant be good.
Deletex