Just a tantrum..to get off my chest

I know you dont like my hair short, yes i knew it would not go down well, your not pleased..well nothing new there then!  have i been deliberatley pushing your buttons? yes i have and your so bloody calm about it well of course you would be nothing ruffles your feathers does it!  Have you any idea how infuriating that is? normal people would have lost their rag by now, but you know how to push my buttons dont you....one word responses and your silence is enough....i feel guilty, im ashamed of how i have behaved of late because i have wanted your attention....ok more specifically i wanted the sadist to come out to play.

Now i know that soon im going to get your attention and im going to wish i didnt....but your waiting me out, watching me dig my own grave, you will give me what i want when it suits you and it will be more than i want and yes what i deserve...i will be sorry, i am sorry, very sorry but you wont hear it because its too late.  Why havent i learnt not to attempt to play these games with you, it never ends well not for me anyway, its always so much better when im good, you like good, good means i get a more pleasureable painful session rather that biting off more than i can chew.