A game of snakes and ladders

I have come to a conclusion (i reserve the right to change my mind at any given time) that i beat myself up more than he does, i have wandered if im hard work i know i can be, i seem to go through phases of pushing him..is that normal?   i stress myself out that im not as submissive as i should be, sure its normal to push but really its been like 5 years shouldnt i know better by now?  its not like we are in the early days of testing boundries..i feel like its a game of snakes and ladders i get closer to the end goal sometimes i excel myself and up the ladder i go and then just when its all going well i slip down the snake and before i know it back to square one.

Thankfully its the weekend yay after an unsettling week it cant come quick enough, no plans for the weekend which is unusual but nice, Master has agreed to a request i made and yea well i think well actually im not thinking....im taking the thinking cap off im just going to let what will be be.