Wednesday, 8 April 2015

On the starting line

I shall not complain about the profile pic..could of been worse! besides i do love being caged and ahem im being positive.

Anon asked on the previous post which lacking inspiration, i figured make it a post

"How long did you wait before you started anything physical when you first met?  I arranged to meet a dominant once and backed out last minute I was so scared and nervous, curious to see how you felt"

Ok, well im not a great advertisement for all the 'safety rules' of first meets, within a couple of hours of first meeting i was tied to the bed and being tormented in a very nice way, but then it was expected, or rather should i say all going well the intention was to get physical.

We had spoke online and on the phone a lot before we met up, so it wasnt a case of one day talking online and the next jumping into bed and getting kinky lol, we had decided at that point to give it a go real time and see where things would lead.

I think it was roughly 3 months from the first initial contact, he approached me first btw, to actually meeting up.

I was scared and nervous, but having met a dominant beforehand in a similar fashion, that very first time was the worst.  With Master it was a little more easier, but i was apprehensive, when he turned up i think i rambled and rambled on about nonsense because i was so nervous.

He did put me at ease though, he was relaxed which helped a lot, we had talked a lot about kink, D/s beforehand, what we both wanted in the short term, and i think thats important, so i wasnt walking into a situation blindly if that makes sense?

You didnt ask, but my advice would be to anyone potentially meeting someone that you have initially 'met' online is

1)  ask to speak on the phone first, if someone refuses to speak on the phone, that for me would be an instant red flag, why? are they married?  are they just looking for online only and therefore stringing you along? or even, as crazy as this might sound but it happens...are they actually the gender they say they are!

2)  ask questions, write them down beforehand while fresh in your mind, what is important to you that you need to know?

3)  be clear as much as is possible about what you both are expecting from that first meet, if you dont want to get physical....make that clear, if they pressure you for more....well if it was me i would walk, if they cant respect your boundaries at that point...for me thats not a good sign

but most of all be sensible, safe and have fun!


  1. Hi Tori, great advice for anyone contemplating that first meet up. I think it's important to discuss expectations, what each party is looking for etc prior to meeting.


    1. thanks Roz

      definitely important, i just think it avoids misunderstandings, can never over discuss...ok well maybe i can lol


  2. Sometimes its knowing why breaking the rules is okay...and what's wrong with the profile pic? I think it's pretty darn awesome!