Monday, 20 April 2015

Challenge rejected

Or alternatively titled "how tori over complicates things"

*blogger still playing me up, blog list is not updating, and i have lost posts, i think i must have done something, a lot of posts have reverted to drafts*  umm ok i know what i have done....all back to normal...can i put it down to having a blonde moment :)

He set me a challenge.

He wouldnt tell me exactly what it would be, but if i accepted and completed it then i would be rewarded with lots of orgasms...and there a rarity around here at the moment...however if i accepted and failed there would be consequences.

I declined, i didnt want to, but it bothered me, me being the over thinker that i am, had to weigh the options up...and the more i thought about it, the more i was inclined to think i would fail the challenge...no he still wouldnt say what the challenge was even after i declined it!

My immediate thought was that i didnt want to be punished for failing whatever the challenge might be, actually i think that would be unfair to be punished if i did, but i wasnt about to start going down the route of the "your being unfair" argument....its pointless.

Which then led to the...yes..the over thinking.

Since that last punishment, i have been doing well, my behaviour has been good, things have been going well, i want it to continue this way, and therefore i am not prepared to take a risk that might result in 'consequences' which is good but yet it also seems very restricting, in a way i cant seem to articulate well enough to make sense...so i wont try to.

I must say this whole being good is quite over-rated, or it feels that way sometimes, it reminds me of the quote

"When I'm good, I'm very good, but when I'm bad I'm better"

Mae West












13 comments:

  1. Hi Tori,
    It made me sad that you might not do a challenge just because you belief you will fail. Unless that is in your masters character to want you to fail as 'fun' ishment. But by your reaction you are dreading that, so no fun there.
    Failing is an option.. we all fail so many times. it is life, but no one ever only fails.. we succeed in so many things.
    love
    ara

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    1. hi ara

      No its not his way ara, its me, i think part of it is im not completely over the last punishment i had and blew it all out of proportion...im guilty of that lol

      Yes sometimes failure happens, its not necessarily a bad thing though i think, we cant always succeed at everything.

      x

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    2. this is another reason punishment doesn't work for me/us - it would make me not want to do anything ever for fear for getting another one! but then find it hard enough to let go and get over random happenstance things.

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  2. I understand how you are feeling. When a punishment occurs, it takes a while to overcome it all and push the boundaries. I get extremely conservative after punishment. I fear every moment and analyze it all.

    I hope He offers the challenge again and you except it.

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    1. Thanks Hs, yes this is very much part of it, its left me holding back somewhat, so yeah you hit the nail on the head.

      x

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  3. Hi Tori, I think it's a shame you declined the challenge for fear of failing, but I get your reasons for doing so. Wanting things to continue in a good fashion.

    Hugs
    Roz

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    1. hi Roz

      Yep i do feel a little bad about it, but i just wasnt of the mind to accept it at that time.

      thanks

      x

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  4. Tori, I get this....but would be curious to know of the parameters. If he is setting a challenge and that's out of the norm of the usual routine, then wouldn't the consequence just be not getting the reward? From reading here, your Master doesn't appear to do things without sense and setting you up to fail seems to be out of line with his character...maybe he just asked to see what you would say?

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    1. You reminded me of what i should know....no he wouldnt set me up to fail..i lost sight of that, and im feeling guilty that i did.

      It was intended as a bit of fun, something different, and i made it a bigger deal than it was.

      x

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  5. Well now my curiosity is peaked. I wonder what the challenge was going to be?

    Hugs,
    Kathy

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    1. lol so is mine....but he wont say!

      x

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  6. you know, if mine was to do something like this it probably would be very like Bleu said, to see how I would react and what I would say. Of course, then I would interept my own (not yours) rejection of the challenge as a lack of trust on my part and then beat myself up about it - I'd be the only one to worry about it, too!

    as for the challenge, i would reject it. I hate the unknown and the goal posts changing - of course he knows this, and used both to great effect, but if given the choice I'd probably wimp out unless he very carefully manipulated the situation, because I can also rise to a challenge I don't want to do. But only if I know what it is.

    Orgasms? Well, they're still plentiful round there, despite me being a denial junkie. I'm adjusting. I'm even getting to quite like cumming twice a night!

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    1. Yes!!!

      All what you have said i couldnt agree with more, and thanks because its reading these comments that reminded me of what i really should know!

      x

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