I follow quite a few blogs, all are some form of ttwd, but as we know thats a broad spectrum, but what i enjoy is the diversity, and for the most part even though im sure my blog, or rather some of the posts i write are not to everyones tastes, i like that even then people are accepting, and i appreciate that.
So, i follow a blogger, Kathy and reading her latest post and commenting she subsequently kindly suggested i could re-post here, all or part of her post.
There used to be bloggers that did a follow me Friday, they since no longer blog, and no im not taking up that mantle lol
But it is a good way to come across new blogs, but also to encourage new bloggers to interact more, because it can be quite daunting starting out....so anyway to the point... Kathy's post "Say hello"
"Sometimes I don't know what to say. Sometimes other bloggers don't know what to say. Sometimes we speak from our heart, sometimes we speak of our passion for our husbands. Right now many of the DD/ttwd blogs are stagnant. So I am turning to my lurkers to encourage comments/questions (respectful and non-invasive) to pose to their favorite bloggers. Let them know you are reading what they say, let them know when you can empathize and understand whatever it is you relate to within yourself.
Interaction is so critical to keeping the DD/ttwd blogs going. We bloggers all know we could just buy a diary and write the personal details of our lives there. But, instead we broadcast intimate details to the world in hopes we are able to feel connected to others like us, or that we make some of you thinking about DD/ttwd take a step and tell your partner your desires.
So if you are reading this, go take a moment to tell a favorite blogger you like their blog, or ask a question, or simply say something funny. It doesn't matter what you say (respectfully), as long as it is a positive interaction."
Musings of an owned slave, i am allowed to write here freely, this chronicles my highs and the lows, its not everyone's reality but it is mine...welcome
Thursday, 30 April 2015
Tuesday, 28 April 2015
To pee or not to pee
I have never taken part in Kink of the Week before, so as im having a dry spell i figured why not!
So yeah..its watersports/golden showers.
There is something very primal about being pissed on, i think initially the mere idea of it, one is inclined to think "yuck" and thats understandable, because well yeah its piss!
For me what i enjoy about it is the degradation aspect, its one of the first acts of humiliation we did, he pissed on me the first time we met and i liked it, i didnt really have time to think about the 'dirtiness' of it because we was in the shower and he simply stated "I'm going to piss on you" and he did!
One of my favourite things to do in respect of piss play...a scene from a while ago now, which im sure i published before..but i cant be arsed to go through folders..
He was waiting for me to need to go pee, when i did he directed me into the shower (shower not on), and to kneel at his feet, he pissed on me, down my hair, over my tits,i open my mouth to drink it until the flow becomes too much.
He tells me to piss, and i do, then he has me turn around, on to my hands and knees, he positions himself behind me, pushes his cock into my ass, forces my head down onto the tiles "lick the piss up you filthy cunt" and i do.
My knees hurt on the tiles, my ass is getting fucked hard and im licking up his and mine's piss, after he has cum he has me lick his cock clean and im so in that 'moment' i dont care that its been in my ass..... i was loving every minute of it, it was degrading, humiliating and bloody hot!
oh i think i need a refresher of that scene (hint, hint, Master)
Ok, so the hygiene/safety aspect..
Well its perfectly safe to drink, although i wouldnt suggest making it your only source of drink lol, the taste is not that nice but for me its more about the humiliation than anything else.
Hygiene, well it washes off! simple!
Monday, 27 April 2015
All is quiet
In blogland, that is.
At first i thought it might be my blogroll not updating, but nope, it just seems so very quiet, people not blogging as much.....its like there is a lull at the moment, personally im all blogged out from March and well im just lacking in what to talk about.
Well, i have things to talk about, i have a few posts unfinished in drafts, but im lacking the motivation to finish them.
Oh i made cupcakes......and ta da they turned out ok, yep thats the highlight of my day!
At first i thought it might be my blogroll not updating, but nope, it just seems so very quiet, people not blogging as much.....its like there is a lull at the moment, personally im all blogged out from March and well im just lacking in what to talk about.
Well, i have things to talk about, i have a few posts unfinished in drafts, but im lacking the motivation to finish them.
Oh i made cupcakes......and ta da they turned out ok, yep thats the highlight of my day!
Friday, 24 April 2015
Summer loving
He wouldnt set me up to fail, and it took reading comments on the last post to remind me of that.....and this is what i like about blogging, sometimes it just takes someone to say something to make you think, to see perhaps what you cant see yourself.
Would i now accept the challenge or indeed any future ones? no i wouldnt to be honest, its me, i dont like uncertainty or the risk of consequences...that being the biggest reason, i got a sense that he was disappointed that i didnt, and i do feel guilty about that but it was a choice he gave me, so i shouldnt feel bad for saying no.
Ironically, or maybe not, since writing that post i earnt a punishment, i dont think i deserved it, and im pissed because i was and have been trying to be good and i made a mistake, one silly mistake, not intentional..but its still April so yeah positive!.
So tori, what positive thing shall we talk about...goodness know i need some inspiration!
Well, the weather has been beautiful here, and my mate had the week off, so we have been making the most of it for the last few days, had lunches overlooking the harbour, walks on the beach, sat eating ice cream and people watching.
I read a post over at DelFonte and she posted a picture of a sculpture, and i asked where it was taken, and bloody hell that is near me! the Eden project, which i have been to quite a few times, on school trips as well as with the family, so i said to my mate we should go again, as we have been there the two of us before..well sort of...you will understand why in a minute, but im going to track down that sculpture :)
Anyway it got us talking about when we did go there together last, there is a zip wire there, the longest in England and i talked her into going on it....she was scared, me i love the thrill of things like that, roller coasters etc. We decided to do that first before entering the actual Eden Project itself.
So off we go, and she pees herself, literally wets herself, and ok, i laughed, i know shame on me...so we didnt actually get to go around the Eden project on that occasion!
But she says she will get her revenge by making me go up on one of the platform in the bio domes, which is really high up and although i know the walkway is safe, it moves and i dont like heights at all, which i know sounds odd as i like roller coasters and such..but you move so fast you dont notice it!....however i will not be wetting my knickers.....i hope!
Would i now accept the challenge or indeed any future ones? no i wouldnt to be honest, its me, i dont like uncertainty or the risk of consequences...that being the biggest reason, i got a sense that he was disappointed that i didnt, and i do feel guilty about that but it was a choice he gave me, so i shouldnt feel bad for saying no.
Ironically, or maybe not, since writing that post i earnt a punishment, i dont think i deserved it, and im pissed because i was and have been trying to be good and i made a mistake, one silly mistake, not intentional..but its still April so yeah positive!.
So tori, what positive thing shall we talk about...goodness know i need some inspiration!
Well, the weather has been beautiful here, and my mate had the week off, so we have been making the most of it for the last few days, had lunches overlooking the harbour, walks on the beach, sat eating ice cream and people watching.
I read a post over at DelFonte and she posted a picture of a sculpture, and i asked where it was taken, and bloody hell that is near me! the Eden project, which i have been to quite a few times, on school trips as well as with the family, so i said to my mate we should go again, as we have been there the two of us before..well sort of...you will understand why in a minute, but im going to track down that sculpture :)
Anyway it got us talking about when we did go there together last, there is a zip wire there, the longest in England and i talked her into going on it....she was scared, me i love the thrill of things like that, roller coasters etc. We decided to do that first before entering the actual Eden Project itself.
So off we go, and she pees herself, literally wets herself, and ok, i laughed, i know shame on me...so we didnt actually get to go around the Eden project on that occasion!
But she says she will get her revenge by making me go up on one of the platform in the bio domes, which is really high up and although i know the walkway is safe, it moves and i dont like heights at all, which i know sounds odd as i like roller coasters and such..but you move so fast you dont notice it!....however i will not be wetting my knickers.....i hope!
Monday, 20 April 2015
Challenge rejected
Or alternatively titled "how tori over complicates things"
*blogger still playing me up, blog list is not updating, and i have lost posts, i think i must have done something, a lot of posts have reverted to drafts* umm ok i know what i have done....all back to normal...can i put it down to having a blonde moment :)
He set me a challenge.
He wouldnt tell me exactly what it would be, but if i accepted and completed it then i would be rewarded with lots of orgasms...and there a rarity around here at the moment...however if i accepted and failed there would be consequences.
I declined, i didnt want to, but it bothered me, me being the over thinker that i am, had to weigh the options up...and the more i thought about it, the more i was inclined to think i would fail the challenge...no he still wouldnt say what the challenge was even after i declined it!
My immediate thought was that i didnt want to be punished for failing whatever the challenge might be, actually i think that would be unfair to be punished if i did, but i wasnt about to start going down the route of the "your being unfair" argument....its pointless.
Which then led to the...yes..the over thinking.
Since that last punishment, i have been doing well, my behaviour has been good, things have been going well, i want it to continue this way, and therefore i am not prepared to take a risk that might result in 'consequences' which is good but yet it also seems very restricting, in a way i cant seem to articulate well enough to make sense...so i wont try to.
I must say this whole being good is quite over-rated, or it feels that way sometimes, it reminds me of the quote
"When I'm good, I'm very good, but when I'm bad I'm better"
Mae West
*blogger still playing me up, blog list is not updating, and i have lost posts, i think i must have done something, a lot of posts have reverted to drafts* umm ok i know what i have done....all back to normal...can i put it down to having a blonde moment :)
He set me a challenge.
He wouldnt tell me exactly what it would be, but if i accepted and completed it then i would be rewarded with lots of orgasms...and there a rarity around here at the moment...however if i accepted and failed there would be consequences.
I declined, i didnt want to, but it bothered me, me being the over thinker that i am, had to weigh the options up...and the more i thought about it, the more i was inclined to think i would fail the challenge...no he still wouldnt say what the challenge was even after i declined it!
My immediate thought was that i didnt want to be punished for failing whatever the challenge might be, actually i think that would be unfair to be punished if i did, but i wasnt about to start going down the route of the "your being unfair" argument....its pointless.
Which then led to the...yes..the over thinking.
Since that last punishment, i have been doing well, my behaviour has been good, things have been going well, i want it to continue this way, and therefore i am not prepared to take a risk that might result in 'consequences' which is good but yet it also seems very restricting, in a way i cant seem to articulate well enough to make sense...so i wont try to.
I must say this whole being good is quite over-rated, or it feels that way sometimes, it reminds me of the quote
"When I'm good, I'm very good, but when I'm bad I'm better"
Mae West
Sunday, 19 April 2015
Has blogger lost its marbles
We got together in 2005, i checked back through some very old correspondence, thats 10 years right?
Not according to blogger, or maybe my brain.
Spent a part of last night going through old posts, well i have been muttering to myself for years that i should do tags for posts so i can find ones i want easier.
Long story short, it was more hassle than its worth, or maybe its just that im crap with computers and have no patience..anyway, i wrote a post celebrating us being together 5 years, but the post was published 3 years ago!
Thinking i must be going mad, i went into the published posts list and there is the post, the date 5 years ago! and its not just that one, but recent posts, like the one i made about s/m and the law...that in the published list was dated as being published last week...which it wasnt, it was like...a month ago!
Besides that, blogger has me following no one again, but then im used to that, keep refreshing and eventually my blog list appears, but now it has posts coming up from old blogs...blogs that are no longer active and havent been for a long time.....and its pages of the same blog....im having to scroll down over and over to get to a recent blog post from someone that is active.
And no i am not on the wine!
But im going to be now.
Ps.. yes i have comments to reply to and i will...im a bit behind.
oh ffs now its not updating at all...my latest blog roll is from 2 days ago.
Not according to blogger, or maybe my brain.
Spent a part of last night going through old posts, well i have been muttering to myself for years that i should do tags for posts so i can find ones i want easier.
Long story short, it was more hassle than its worth, or maybe its just that im crap with computers and have no patience..anyway, i wrote a post celebrating us being together 5 years, but the post was published 3 years ago!
Thinking i must be going mad, i went into the published posts list and there is the post, the date 5 years ago! and its not just that one, but recent posts, like the one i made about s/m and the law...that in the published list was dated as being published last week...which it wasnt, it was like...a month ago!
Besides that, blogger has me following no one again, but then im used to that, keep refreshing and eventually my blog list appears, but now it has posts coming up from old blogs...blogs that are no longer active and havent been for a long time.....and its pages of the same blog....im having to scroll down over and over to get to a recent blog post from someone that is active.
And no i am not on the wine!
But im going to be now.
Ps.. yes i have comments to reply to and i will...im a bit behind.
oh ffs now its not updating at all...my latest blog roll is from 2 days ago.
Thursday, 16 April 2015
Thank you
First of all i want to say thank you for the support i do appreciate it, i was, i thought doing ok, but yesterday the worry got to me, i was thinking the worst, and i was scared, hardly slept.
I was at the doctors for 8am this morning, they were brilliant, they had arranged for a specialist consultant to come in and he asked me lots of questions, took my medical files away, he came back to me with some results.
I have an over active thyroid, but also, my body has been rejecting the insulin i have been taking during the day, im allergic to it, its unusual for this to happen.....thats me..unusual :) The combination of both of these explains a lot, the weight loss, the excessive tiredness, the bouts of depression i had been having and the mood swings....but mostly why i have not ever been able to get my blood sugar levels under control.
So, he basically said im unlucky, but the good news is both are treatable and manageable, i feel this huge sense of relief just having an answer, i dont want to run down my doctor or my diabetic nurse because they have been great, but the consultant was clearly annoyed that this wasnt picked up on sooner (its nearly 3 years since i was diagnosed diabetic!), and yes i do feel a little bit that way myself, as it has been dragging on for months that i have been complaining that something wasnt right, i wasnt feeling right...since before Christmas, hence why i had that break back then...health wise i was a mess.
But, anyway, insulin has been changed, im going on a medication to help the over active thyroid, and the consultant says that all going well i should start to feel a lot better within a week, especially in regards to the insulin and will slowly gain some weight once my body adjusts to the changes of meds.
In the grand scheme of things, i have to be positive, it was not what i was expecting, i was thinking the worst, i might be unlucky as the consultant said, but it could have been worse, at least i can manage and treat this, so as far as im concerned..im lucky.
So now im sat here with all these leaflets, i have been bombarded with all this information and im trying to process it all.....whilst eating a large slab of chocolate cake.....doctor said i could !
I was at the doctors for 8am this morning, they were brilliant, they had arranged for a specialist consultant to come in and he asked me lots of questions, took my medical files away, he came back to me with some results.
I have an over active thyroid, but also, my body has been rejecting the insulin i have been taking during the day, im allergic to it, its unusual for this to happen.....thats me..unusual :) The combination of both of these explains a lot, the weight loss, the excessive tiredness, the bouts of depression i had been having and the mood swings....but mostly why i have not ever been able to get my blood sugar levels under control.
So, he basically said im unlucky, but the good news is both are treatable and manageable, i feel this huge sense of relief just having an answer, i dont want to run down my doctor or my diabetic nurse because they have been great, but the consultant was clearly annoyed that this wasnt picked up on sooner (its nearly 3 years since i was diagnosed diabetic!), and yes i do feel a little bit that way myself, as it has been dragging on for months that i have been complaining that something wasnt right, i wasnt feeling right...since before Christmas, hence why i had that break back then...health wise i was a mess.
But, anyway, insulin has been changed, im going on a medication to help the over active thyroid, and the consultant says that all going well i should start to feel a lot better within a week, especially in regards to the insulin and will slowly gain some weight once my body adjusts to the changes of meds.
In the grand scheme of things, i have to be positive, it was not what i was expecting, i was thinking the worst, i might be unlucky as the consultant said, but it could have been worse, at least i can manage and treat this, so as far as im concerned..im lucky.
So now im sat here with all these leaflets, i have been bombarded with all this information and im trying to process it all.....whilst eating a large slab of chocolate cake.....doctor said i could !
Wednesday, 15 April 2015
Fattening up
I have lost a lot of weight, initally it was put down to the diabetes, change of diet because of that, but i have lost too much weight..a good thing one would think, but its getting worrying, the doctors have had me on a high calorie diet for the last 4 months...but still not putting on weight.
In 18 months i have gone from a UK size 16 to a size 8, and still dropping. I shouldnt be, it should have settled by now, if anything i was told that the insulin would have me put on weight, so its a concern.
Im going into the doctors tomorrow for extensive tests, i would be lying if i said i wasnt worried, i am, i dont feel right, im looking gaunt, i dont suit the weight loss.
I wanted to take a break from blogging, whilst this was going on, especially as im meant to be having a positive April, but im not feeling too positive at the moment, im trying to be but yeah its the worry of the unknown.
In 18 months i have gone from a UK size 16 to a size 8, and still dropping. I shouldnt be, it should have settled by now, if anything i was told that the insulin would have me put on weight, so its a concern.
Im going into the doctors tomorrow for extensive tests, i would be lying if i said i wasnt worried, i am, i dont feel right, im looking gaunt, i dont suit the weight loss.
I wanted to take a break from blogging, whilst this was going on, especially as im meant to be having a positive April, but im not feeling too positive at the moment, im trying to be but yeah its the worry of the unknown.
Sunday, 12 April 2015
The expectation of acknowledgement, praise, the "good girl"
If he asks me to do something, he expects it do be done, and i do it, should i expect an acknowledgement of a good girl or praise?
in the short of it no, because im doing whats expected of me, in the respect of being his slave
However its not that simple is it? it never is!...ok, not for me perhaps.
it depends somewhat of what is being asked..
there are times i get frustrated, even a little hurt that i dont get acknowledgement, i get this sense of entitlement that i deserve it, because i have done something that perhaps i have found difficult, and i need his praise, i want the 'good girl', i want him to take note that im doing well, that he is pleased with me.
I do get it, but on his terms, he sees to my needs in his way, but my needs are met, i just dont dictate to him when and how they are, it would perhaps mean less to me if i was to say to him "i wanted you to say you were pleased with me, or to tell me im a "good girl" etc and then he did, it wouldnt mean much, i want him to say it because he means it, not to placate me....not that he would do that anyway.
However, i do need his praise, to be told he is pleased with me etc, i think its important for a healthy dynamic, but its a balancing act, he provides me with enough encouragement and support that i should feel and be secure, to know that in the grand scheme of things he is pleased with me.....coz im certainly sure when i know he isnt!
But yet its accepting not to expect it, and when i dont, to not get resentful, im submissive, his slave, i should be obedient, i should be pleasing that is simply how it is, its not a case of 'well i did this for you...wheres my praise etc'. coz you know he should be bloody damn grateful that im submitting to him because its a gift im giving him!
That is not an attitude that demonstrates humility, not in my mind, and the whole submission is a gift thing has never sat right with me, and i still struggle to put my finger on exactly why, i just feel that its almost like saying that he should be grateful...hmm im pondering on this.
I think its time to take a little break.
Kinky shopping
I am getting so much junk email lately, much more than i have ever done, the latest ones seem to be ones asking me to advertise their websites on my blog..kinky websites that one has to pay for that is...um no chance!
If bdsm is your thing, and personally i do on occasions enjoy watching bdsm videos, they can be found for free..yes free on the internet, so why would i pay for them, let alone advertise them...if you want to know some free websites with great stuff on then i will pass them on for freeeeee....i like free!
Its like kinky gear, yes certain things can only be found via bdsm stores or online, but sometimes you can get great stuff from regular stores, equestrian shops for whips and crops, ropes....so much cheaper than what you will find in a bdsm store and usually of a better quality.
Then you having fishing stores, ropes again, weights, big hooks for bondage and small teeny ones for piercing the skin...will leave that to your imagination...but just think labia or nipples, teeny fishing hooks...string...oh the possibilities!
I love looking around kinky stores though, although we havent for a while, somethings are best to look at, get a feel of, i always tend to buy things though that i think i will like and subsequently end up hating..the inflatable butt plug being the most memorable item....nasty thing that is!
the last time we bought something kink wise was the tower of pain nipple clamps
Which was a couple of years ago, they work quite simply, you turn the ball at the top and it pulls out, thereby pulling the clover clamps tighter, and also stretching tits outwards, i have a love/hate relationship with it, the last time we used it was when we was having sex, me on top of him.
I loved that he would slowly turn the ball as i was moving on top of him, it was just the perfect combination of pain and pleasure, perhaps more pain than pleasure initially but slowly it all fuzzes together as one.
I think i need to go dig these out, its been a while.
In fact i think i need to go kinky shopping!
If bdsm is your thing, and personally i do on occasions enjoy watching bdsm videos, they can be found for free..yes free on the internet, so why would i pay for them, let alone advertise them...if you want to know some free websites with great stuff on then i will pass them on for freeeeee....i like free!
Its like kinky gear, yes certain things can only be found via bdsm stores or online, but sometimes you can get great stuff from regular stores, equestrian shops for whips and crops, ropes....so much cheaper than what you will find in a bdsm store and usually of a better quality.
Then you having fishing stores, ropes again, weights, big hooks for bondage and small teeny ones for piercing the skin...will leave that to your imagination...but just think labia or nipples, teeny fishing hooks...string...oh the possibilities!
I love looking around kinky stores though, although we havent for a while, somethings are best to look at, get a feel of, i always tend to buy things though that i think i will like and subsequently end up hating..the inflatable butt plug being the most memorable item....nasty thing that is!
the last time we bought something kink wise was the tower of pain nipple clamps
Which was a couple of years ago, they work quite simply, you turn the ball at the top and it pulls out, thereby pulling the clover clamps tighter, and also stretching tits outwards, i have a love/hate relationship with it, the last time we used it was when we was having sex, me on top of him.
I loved that he would slowly turn the ball as i was moving on top of him, it was just the perfect combination of pain and pleasure, perhaps more pain than pleasure initially but slowly it all fuzzes together as one.
I think i need to go dig these out, its been a while.
In fact i think i need to go kinky shopping!
Friday, 10 April 2015
Questions from Bleuame
I nominated Bleuame for the Real neat blog award, her blog is private so providing a link would be pointless, but needless to say she is someone who's blog i really enjoy.
Bleuame posed some questions to those that wish to answer them...so if you want to play along, please do
1) What is one thing--one physical object--that you want more than anything right now?
Very boring answer im afraid...my kindle, i left it at my friends whilst babysitting, and had downloaded a book im really itching to finish.
2) Last good book you read?
My Brief History an autobiography by Stephen Hawking, i find him an amazing man, a very interesting life
3) What is one circumstance you wish could be different in your life?
That i had a good relationship with my mother
4) Give an example of, 'I knew better but did it anyway'?
Getting my hair cut short, as in going from it being down to my ass to just above the shoulders! it was a while back now, Master prefers it long, and i knew that, and cant honestly say what possessed me to do it!
5) What do you love about ttwd/kink?
the intimacy of it, the trust that we have in one another, the amazing experiences, and the security of being owned..just so much really.
6) Have your kink experiences influenced how you view other people?
Yes, i believe im more tolerant (numpties excluded) and open minded towards others, some kinks dont appeal to me at all...but then im sure mine dont to others, either way, as long as people are enjoying themselves...go for it!
7) Who in blogland would you like to have coffee with and why?
ooh so many that i cant put it down to just one or even a couple, can i settle for inviting everyone on my blog roll over for coffee, bring cupcakes...chocolate ones :)
Bleuame posed some questions to those that wish to answer them...so if you want to play along, please do
1) What is one thing--one physical object--that you want more than anything right now?
Very boring answer im afraid...my kindle, i left it at my friends whilst babysitting, and had downloaded a book im really itching to finish.
2) Last good book you read?
My Brief History an autobiography by Stephen Hawking, i find him an amazing man, a very interesting life
3) What is one circumstance you wish could be different in your life?
That i had a good relationship with my mother
4) Give an example of, 'I knew better but did it anyway'?
Getting my hair cut short, as in going from it being down to my ass to just above the shoulders! it was a while back now, Master prefers it long, and i knew that, and cant honestly say what possessed me to do it!
5) What do you love about ttwd/kink?
the intimacy of it, the trust that we have in one another, the amazing experiences, and the security of being owned..just so much really.
6) Have your kink experiences influenced how you view other people?
Yes, i believe im more tolerant (numpties excluded) and open minded towards others, some kinks dont appeal to me at all...but then im sure mine dont to others, either way, as long as people are enjoying themselves...go for it!
7) Who in blogland would you like to have coffee with and why?
ooh so many that i cant put it down to just one or even a couple, can i settle for inviting everyone on my blog roll over for coffee, bring cupcakes...chocolate ones :)
Thursday, 9 April 2015
Dude wheres the food!
My son turned 18 this week, i feel too young to have an 18yr old! in mind not body...we had a meal out, with lots of the family and friends, he choose the restaurant, which is a very nice one, however i have come to a conclusion that the more expensive a meal is the less you get on the plate!
Plus, is it a trend lately for the plates to be really, really, large, im sat there with this big round white plate, with a blob of food in the centre, very nicely presented, so nice, im not sure if i should eat it or take it home to hang on the wall.
Im thinking, have they given us another round of starters? where are the vegetables? i tentatively lift the salmon up from what is a 'bed of noodles' a tablespoon amount..ohh yes there they are 2 mangetouts, and 3 thinly sliced slithers of courgette, and a teaspoon of chopped peppers.
Then sides arrive, which is a damn good thing we ordered plenty of sides, or it would have been MacDonalds later, anyway now its time to play table Jenga, we are all sat there with these big plates, bottles of wine, the wine glasses, glasses for water, condiments, vase of flowers and manoeuvring everything around to fit the side plates on the table....its like a mastermind challenge...to fit everything on right with nothing dropping off.
3 courses later, we have coffee, even the cups are so small, im pretty sure the handle was there for decoration only, because you couldnt get a finger through it, well if you did im not sure you would be able to get it back out again!
However, the food was delicious, the company was great, we had a lot of laughs, my cousins girlfriend had made him an amazing cake, a chocolate Playstation 4 console with controller, she is so talented at baking, it really did look like the real thing, and tasted well yummy.
Did end up making toasted cheese and ham sandwiches at nearly 1 in the morning though!
Plus, is it a trend lately for the plates to be really, really, large, im sat there with this big round white plate, with a blob of food in the centre, very nicely presented, so nice, im not sure if i should eat it or take it home to hang on the wall.
Im thinking, have they given us another round of starters? where are the vegetables? i tentatively lift the salmon up from what is a 'bed of noodles' a tablespoon amount..ohh yes there they are 2 mangetouts, and 3 thinly sliced slithers of courgette, and a teaspoon of chopped peppers.
Then sides arrive, which is a damn good thing we ordered plenty of sides, or it would have been MacDonalds later, anyway now its time to play table Jenga, we are all sat there with these big plates, bottles of wine, the wine glasses, glasses for water, condiments, vase of flowers and manoeuvring everything around to fit the side plates on the table....its like a mastermind challenge...to fit everything on right with nothing dropping off.
3 courses later, we have coffee, even the cups are so small, im pretty sure the handle was there for decoration only, because you couldnt get a finger through it, well if you did im not sure you would be able to get it back out again!
However, the food was delicious, the company was great, we had a lot of laughs, my cousins girlfriend had made him an amazing cake, a chocolate Playstation 4 console with controller, she is so talented at baking, it really did look like the real thing, and tasted well yummy.
Did end up making toasted cheese and ham sandwiches at nearly 1 in the morning though!
Wednesday, 8 April 2015
Cool, calm and collected
Thats me, not him..i can be too, enough to go back and be rational with my fact rant in response to a comment, so im going to look at the positives....you know all this positive April means May does not bode well :)
1) Everyones relationship is unique to them
Well, sincerely thank goodness for that, wouldnt it be a boring world if we were all the same, for a start blogging would not be as interesting if we all thought and did exactly the same! Personally i enjoy reading about others relationships, how they work etc, i find it interesting to hear others perspectives on things, variety is the spice of life it is said..how true that is!
2) Saying my Master/Mistress wouldnt treat me like that because they care comments
This pretty much applies to the above, how a dominant treats their sub/slave or whatever will differ, i personally would not want a dominant that treated me like a princess and pandered to my every whim, that only did things to me that i wanted or enjoyed.....i like to be dominated, not dictate how im dominated.
3) Rituals etc..boring or not?
I love kink, bdsm, but those are not what makes my relationship M/s, its having rituals, rules, discipline and being controlled that for me are what makes it M/s, other wise it would just be a relationship with kink in it. Rituals provide consistency, keep me grounded, aware of the power exchange, enforce the dynamic, they may well be boring to others, but i like the reminders they give me of my place.
4) Unhealthy relationships
Yes well, im happy, content, loved, i dont live in fear, so for me its all good, if one is unhappy and living in real fear then its not good at all, i understand that some people might read here and be uncomfortable, ok, i get that, if you really have a problem with something i blog about, honestly as long as your not 'judgy' in your comment im more than happy to provide further comment without sarcasm.
5) harmful s/m
Ok, being tied up, having my boobs tied up, is safe, have had them tied up and abused for years, and they are still in darn good shape if i must say so myself, it might not be someones thing, and thats ok, there is plenty out there that does not appeal for me.
But be careful not to say that something is harmful unless you have the proof to back that statement up, and that applies to any form of s/m, of course people may have particular health issues whereby something could be potentially harmful in which case common sense applies.
Now why didnt i just respond like this in the first place...all nice and calm....coz i can do it!
1) Everyones relationship is unique to them
Well, sincerely thank goodness for that, wouldnt it be a boring world if we were all the same, for a start blogging would not be as interesting if we all thought and did exactly the same! Personally i enjoy reading about others relationships, how they work etc, i find it interesting to hear others perspectives on things, variety is the spice of life it is said..how true that is!
2) Saying my Master/Mistress wouldnt treat me like that because they care comments
This pretty much applies to the above, how a dominant treats their sub/slave or whatever will differ, i personally would not want a dominant that treated me like a princess and pandered to my every whim, that only did things to me that i wanted or enjoyed.....i like to be dominated, not dictate how im dominated.
3) Rituals etc..boring or not?
I love kink, bdsm, but those are not what makes my relationship M/s, its having rituals, rules, discipline and being controlled that for me are what makes it M/s, other wise it would just be a relationship with kink in it. Rituals provide consistency, keep me grounded, aware of the power exchange, enforce the dynamic, they may well be boring to others, but i like the reminders they give me of my place.
4) Unhealthy relationships
Yes well, im happy, content, loved, i dont live in fear, so for me its all good, if one is unhappy and living in real fear then its not good at all, i understand that some people might read here and be uncomfortable, ok, i get that, if you really have a problem with something i blog about, honestly as long as your not 'judgy' in your comment im more than happy to provide further comment without sarcasm.
5) harmful s/m
Ok, being tied up, having my boobs tied up, is safe, have had them tied up and abused for years, and they are still in darn good shape if i must say so myself, it might not be someones thing, and thats ok, there is plenty out there that does not appeal for me.
But be careful not to say that something is harmful unless you have the proof to back that statement up, and that applies to any form of s/m, of course people may have particular health issues whereby something could be potentially harmful in which case common sense applies.
Now why didnt i just respond like this in the first place...all nice and calm....coz i can do it!
On the starting line
I shall not complain about the profile pic..could of been worse! besides i do love being caged and ahem im being positive.
Anon asked on the previous post which lacking inspiration, i figured make it a post
"How long did you wait before you started anything physical when you first met? I arranged to meet a dominant once and backed out last minute I was so scared and nervous, curious to see how you felt"
Ok, well im not a great advertisement for all the 'safety rules' of first meets, within a couple of hours of first meeting i was tied to the bed and being tormented in a very nice way, but then it was expected, or rather should i say all going well the intention was to get physical.
We had spoke online and on the phone a lot before we met up, so it wasnt a case of one day talking online and the next jumping into bed and getting kinky lol, we had decided at that point to give it a go real time and see where things would lead.
I think it was roughly 3 months from the first initial contact, he approached me first btw, to actually meeting up.
I was scared and nervous, but having met a dominant beforehand in a similar fashion, that very first time was the worst. With Master it was a little more easier, but i was apprehensive, when he turned up i think i rambled and rambled on about nonsense because i was so nervous.
He did put me at ease though, he was relaxed which helped a lot, we had talked a lot about kink, D/s beforehand, what we both wanted in the short term, and i think thats important, so i wasnt walking into a situation blindly if that makes sense?
You didnt ask, but my advice would be to anyone potentially meeting someone that you have initially 'met' online is
1) ask to speak on the phone first, if someone refuses to speak on the phone, that for me would be an instant red flag, why? are they married? are they just looking for online only and therefore stringing you along? or even, as crazy as this might sound but it happens...are they actually the gender they say they are!
2) ask questions, write them down beforehand while fresh in your mind, what is important to you that you need to know?
3) be clear as much as is possible about what you both are expecting from that first meet, if you dont want to get physical....make that clear, if they pressure you for more....well if it was me i would walk, if they cant respect your boundaries at that point...for me thats not a good sign
but most of all be sensible, safe and have fun!
Anon asked on the previous post which lacking inspiration, i figured make it a post
"How long did you wait before you started anything physical when you first met? I arranged to meet a dominant once and backed out last minute I was so scared and nervous, curious to see how you felt"
Ok, well im not a great advertisement for all the 'safety rules' of first meets, within a couple of hours of first meeting i was tied to the bed and being tormented in a very nice way, but then it was expected, or rather should i say all going well the intention was to get physical.
We had spoke online and on the phone a lot before we met up, so it wasnt a case of one day talking online and the next jumping into bed and getting kinky lol, we had decided at that point to give it a go real time and see where things would lead.
I think it was roughly 3 months from the first initial contact, he approached me first btw, to actually meeting up.
I was scared and nervous, but having met a dominant beforehand in a similar fashion, that very first time was the worst. With Master it was a little more easier, but i was apprehensive, when he turned up i think i rambled and rambled on about nonsense because i was so nervous.
He did put me at ease though, he was relaxed which helped a lot, we had talked a lot about kink, D/s beforehand, what we both wanted in the short term, and i think thats important, so i wasnt walking into a situation blindly if that makes sense?
You didnt ask, but my advice would be to anyone potentially meeting someone that you have initially 'met' online is
1) ask to speak on the phone first, if someone refuses to speak on the phone, that for me would be an instant red flag, why? are they married? are they just looking for online only and therefore stringing you along? or even, as crazy as this might sound but it happens...are they actually the gender they say they are!
2) ask questions, write them down beforehand while fresh in your mind, what is important to you that you need to know?
3) be clear as much as is possible about what you both are expecting from that first meet, if you dont want to get physical....make that clear, if they pressure you for more....well if it was me i would walk, if they cant respect your boundaries at that point...for me thats not a good sign
but most of all be sensible, safe and have fun!
Tuesday, 7 April 2015
A decade of debauchery
Ok so my April officially starts now...a month of positive posting!..lets see how it goes :)
This week, no month (cant remember exact date) is 10 years since Master and i met face to face for the first time.
I dont think either of us expected us to be here, where we are now, i know that doesnt sound very good, one doesnt generally go into a relationship thinking it wont last! but then that i think is the point, neither of us was seeking a relationship as such, and certainly not love....and yet here we are.
Right, positive tori!....no negativity, i can do this, yes i can
I am happy with how much i have grown over the years, not just in being his slave but overall, im more sure of myself, of what i want and what i need, and im confident in being able to express that, but i think mostly im in a place of just trusting him enough to know what i want and need, and it took a long time getting there.
But i think a lot of that is simply maturing, growing up, experience etc, entering into an M/s dynamic at the age of 29 was just opening another door to discovering myself, exploring this side of me i was unsure about, not knowing if it was for me, i had doubts, but im so glad i gave it a go, i certainly have no regrets.
Master has always maintained that it was always in me, it just needed bringing out, if it wasnt him, it would of been some other dominant, and he has a point, but i for one am glad it was not someone else, we are lucky that we are very compatible, our needs and wants for the most part are on par.
Its difficult i think starting out, because one might not know for sure, it was different for me than him, i was relatively inexperienced, certainly not enough to be confident in knowing for sure what i liked, or indeed what i didnt like or to know what i wanted, whereas he has decades of experience more than me, he was/is very sure of what he likes, expects and wants.....i thought that might be an issue.
But, i took to it all really well, yes there were blips, and still are blips, (but this is a positive post) and i relished in discovering this 'world', that i thrived on being controlled, pleasing him being so important to me, that it became more important than my own discomfort or dislike of something...took me a while to get there, but when i did, it was a breakthrough.
Discovering the extent of my masochism came as an eye opener, i was worried that i wouldnt be masochistic enough for him, and i know even now that im not, but im enough of a pain slut, dont like that term btw to satisfy him.
It can only get better.
So i suppose i should end on a soppy note, i dont do a lot of sentimental posts, but a decade together warrants it i think!
Master, you have given me, shown me so much in the last 10 years, more than i could ever return, i know i must drive you crazy at times, 10 years ago i respected you as my dominant, but i came to love you as well as respect you as my Owner.
I cant wait to see where the next 10 years leads us, or perhaps more apt where you lead me.
I love you
xx
This week, no month (cant remember exact date) is 10 years since Master and i met face to face for the first time.
I dont think either of us expected us to be here, where we are now, i know that doesnt sound very good, one doesnt generally go into a relationship thinking it wont last! but then that i think is the point, neither of us was seeking a relationship as such, and certainly not love....and yet here we are.
Right, positive tori!....no negativity, i can do this, yes i can
I am happy with how much i have grown over the years, not just in being his slave but overall, im more sure of myself, of what i want and what i need, and im confident in being able to express that, but i think mostly im in a place of just trusting him enough to know what i want and need, and it took a long time getting there.
But i think a lot of that is simply maturing, growing up, experience etc, entering into an M/s dynamic at the age of 29 was just opening another door to discovering myself, exploring this side of me i was unsure about, not knowing if it was for me, i had doubts, but im so glad i gave it a go, i certainly have no regrets.
Master has always maintained that it was always in me, it just needed bringing out, if it wasnt him, it would of been some other dominant, and he has a point, but i for one am glad it was not someone else, we are lucky that we are very compatible, our needs and wants for the most part are on par.
Its difficult i think starting out, because one might not know for sure, it was different for me than him, i was relatively inexperienced, certainly not enough to be confident in knowing for sure what i liked, or indeed what i didnt like or to know what i wanted, whereas he has decades of experience more than me, he was/is very sure of what he likes, expects and wants.....i thought that might be an issue.
But, i took to it all really well, yes there were blips, and still are blips, (but this is a positive post) and i relished in discovering this 'world', that i thrived on being controlled, pleasing him being so important to me, that it became more important than my own discomfort or dislike of something...took me a while to get there, but when i did, it was a breakthrough.
Discovering the extent of my masochism came as an eye opener, i was worried that i wouldnt be masochistic enough for him, and i know even now that im not, but im enough of a pain slut, dont like that term btw to satisfy him.
It can only get better.
So i suppose i should end on a soppy note, i dont do a lot of sentimental posts, but a decade together warrants it i think!
Master, you have given me, shown me so much in the last 10 years, more than i could ever return, i know i must drive you crazy at times, 10 years ago i respected you as my dominant, but i came to love you as well as respect you as my Owner.
I cant wait to see where the next 10 years leads us, or perhaps more apt where you lead me.
I love you
xx
Friday, 3 April 2015
Ok, 2 days in and not going too well
April is meant to be a post positive month, i was set that challenge, i was so determined to stick to it, i was.
Then i logged on, had 2 comments pending approval, and yeah well, hmm one not a nice one at all, hence the previous post, i wasnt upset, but angry, what can i say, i vented in my own space.
I shouldnt care what people think, Master often tells me that, i know he is right.
So before the Easter break i shall leave on a positive note....
ummm all my body parts are in tact...cant get more positive than that!
Then i logged on, had 2 comments pending approval, and yeah well, hmm one not a nice one at all, hence the previous post, i wasnt upset, but angry, what can i say, i vented in my own space.
I shouldnt care what people think, Master often tells me that, i know he is right.
So before the Easter break i shall leave on a positive note....
ummm all my body parts are in tact...cant get more positive than that!
Coz it does my head in
Fact: everyones relationship is unique to them, just because you dont 'get' it, dont knock it and dont judge
Fact: dont state that a particular activity in s/m is harmful when you clearly dont have a clue..fucking safety police who dont know what they are talking about
Fact: saying in a comment "oh my Master/Mistress/God/ruler supreme/best dom ever...wouldnt treat me like that because he cares about how i feel" is condescending, and you just come across as a twat!
Fact: for some people having rituals is important to them, they have meaning, perhaps its a way of expressing/acknowledging the power exchange, whatever the reason, it might be tedious and boring to you, and thats fine, but im not you
Fact: i really couldnt give a toss if you think my relationship is unhealthy....stop reading here! simple!
right, thats me done until the Easter holidays are over.
yes i do feel better now, ta
*really should learn to ignore it, i know, but sometimes it just gets too much*
Fact: dont state that a particular activity in s/m is harmful when you clearly dont have a clue..fucking safety police who dont know what they are talking about
Fact: saying in a comment "oh my Master/Mistress/God/ruler supreme/best dom ever...wouldnt treat me like that because he cares about how i feel" is condescending, and you just come across as a twat!
Fact: for some people having rituals is important to them, they have meaning, perhaps its a way of expressing/acknowledging the power exchange, whatever the reason, it might be tedious and boring to you, and thats fine, but im not you
Fact: i really couldnt give a toss if you think my relationship is unhealthy....stop reading here! simple!
right, thats me done until the Easter holidays are over.
yes i do feel better now, ta
*really should learn to ignore it, i know, but sometimes it just gets too much*
Wednesday, 1 April 2015
We could turn this into a continual loop, you know!
Thanks to gg (greengirl) for nominating me for the real neat blog award....i have been laughing thinking about the continual loop..but i wont, i promise lol
The rules, i have followed them previously, now im going to be a rule-breaker.....i figure if your on my blog-roll, i like your blog, consider yourself nominated.
the questions from gg (this is fun, different)
1) If you were going to create a blog award, what would it be called or be about?
Im not so sure what snazzy title i would give it, but it would be for new blogs, welcoming those that have just started, i know how daunting it can be for some starting out in blogging, especially in respect of ttwd, so yeah something along those lines, mouse over at the power exchange used to do a series of posts called newbie Tuesday, i thought and still think thats a wonderful idea....can always learn something, no matter even how long one has been at this.
2) How would you describe your style of decorating.
oh gosh, um well, this is quite an old house, huge ceilings, fireplaces in quite a few of the rooms, lots of the original features from Victorian times, and i like to try to decorate in a way that is sensitive to that period but with a modern twist. I love looking around antique shops, finding something different, unique, i like art, paintings and sculptures, Damien Hirst being an artist im enthusiastic about the moment.
3) If you could have your dream job/occupation, what would it be?
In government, but in a position that i would have an influence over the education here in the UK, it really does need a huge upheaval imo.
4) Are there any people in your (vanilla) life who you think might actually be kinky, or who you look at and think "no way, but, yet maybe.."?
My oldest brother, things other the years that has been said, that have left me wondering, more especially what his ex-wives (he has 3, on the 4th now, or is it 5th..hmm im not sure lol) have said about him, i could totally see him being a dominant in the respect of D/s.
5) Where would you put yourself (the sum total of your relationship) on a spectrum from incredibly stern and rigid to teasing and lighthearted?
In the middle, but closer to stern and rigid than teasing and lighthearted, we have lots of fun for sure, but he is strict, firm, i am under no illusions you could say of what/where my place is, and im happy with that.
6) If you had a fairly close friend with whom you really could discuss these types of things, do you think you would still blog?
yes, definitely, i love the interaction, the different perspectives that you cant get from one person alone, the variety of the blogs i follow, plus Master reads my blog so its another method of communication, insight etc
7) If you had more time (in your day, in your week, in your life) what would you do differently?
Not now, as its too late, but going back, i would not have worked as much as i did when my children were smaller (pre-school age) i missed out on a lot, i would have worked, but part-time.
The rules, i have followed them previously, now im going to be a rule-breaker.....i figure if your on my blog-roll, i like your blog, consider yourself nominated.
the questions from gg (this is fun, different)
1) If you were going to create a blog award, what would it be called or be about?
Im not so sure what snazzy title i would give it, but it would be for new blogs, welcoming those that have just started, i know how daunting it can be for some starting out in blogging, especially in respect of ttwd, so yeah something along those lines, mouse over at the power exchange used to do a series of posts called newbie Tuesday, i thought and still think thats a wonderful idea....can always learn something, no matter even how long one has been at this.
2) How would you describe your style of decorating.
oh gosh, um well, this is quite an old house, huge ceilings, fireplaces in quite a few of the rooms, lots of the original features from Victorian times, and i like to try to decorate in a way that is sensitive to that period but with a modern twist. I love looking around antique shops, finding something different, unique, i like art, paintings and sculptures, Damien Hirst being an artist im enthusiastic about the moment.
3) If you could have your dream job/occupation, what would it be?
In government, but in a position that i would have an influence over the education here in the UK, it really does need a huge upheaval imo.
4) Are there any people in your (vanilla) life who you think might actually be kinky, or who you look at and think "no way, but, yet maybe.."?
My oldest brother, things other the years that has been said, that have left me wondering, more especially what his ex-wives (he has 3, on the 4th now, or is it 5th..hmm im not sure lol) have said about him, i could totally see him being a dominant in the respect of D/s.
5) Where would you put yourself (the sum total of your relationship) on a spectrum from incredibly stern and rigid to teasing and lighthearted?
In the middle, but closer to stern and rigid than teasing and lighthearted, we have lots of fun for sure, but he is strict, firm, i am under no illusions you could say of what/where my place is, and im happy with that.
6) If you had a fairly close friend with whom you really could discuss these types of things, do you think you would still blog?
yes, definitely, i love the interaction, the different perspectives that you cant get from one person alone, the variety of the blogs i follow, plus Master reads my blog so its another method of communication, insight etc
7) If you had more time (in your day, in your week, in your life) what would you do differently?
Not now, as its too late, but going back, i would not have worked as much as i did when my children were smaller (pre-school age) i missed out on a lot, i would have worked, but part-time.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)