No one's perfect right? i know my faults and i also know my strengths.
So my faults, my brain to mouth filter doesnt always activate when it should, i have a tendency to blurt out what im thinking when irked and its not always tactful or diplomatic and so yeah well not generally appreciated.
It started off really well, a girlie night in at a friends home, good food, great conversation which inevitably led to the men in our lives, one of our friends started to moan about her boyfriend not being around for her on Valentines day, that whilst all of her friends were doing something with their partners she was home alone (um actually me and the bossman dont do valentines day, but thats by the by), and he didnt consider her feelings blah de blah de blah.
We listened, we sympathised, poured her more wine (i was not allowed alcohol) and attempted to steer the conversation elsewhere, nope she wasnt letting it go, it became "woe is me, all alone, he doesnt care about me..." and i just had had enough.
i blurted my thoughts out
"well why dont you phone his wife, clearly what a selfish bitch she is expecting to have Valentines dinner with her husband, oh but then she doesnt know about you, does she!"
ok so yes im a sarcastic bitch
and they all looked at me like i had grown horns out my head!
She burst into tears, one of my friends called me an insensitive bitch, and well lets just say it ended up being an earlier night than anticipated.
Now, to make it clear, she is my friend and although i dont necessarily agree with what goes on in her personal life, i look past it because she is my friend, my issue was with the fact that as a grown woman of 37 she chose to go down this route, and the issues that come with it....so dont start moaning about unfairness etc because the circumstances dictate that really your in no position to do so.
I think i felt 'ok' to say it because she is my friend and it was (albeit probably not the right way to go about it) a verbal ass kicking reality check, putting things in perspective...i realise of course now, i could have been more diplomatic in how i made my point...but yeah the brain to mouth filter was clearly not functioning!
and just to make it worse, one of my friends phones up the following day and says "oh you said exactly what i was thinking" good for you!
no, not good for me at all, im left being the bitch, but thanks for your support at the time...not, because you were sat there glowering at me like im the devil incarnate.
And when i got home, i sat and cried, and got told that really i should have just kept my opinions to myself.....i know that, dammit i know that, but i cant take it back....and she still a week on isnt talking to me.
and i do feel like im a bitch, perhaps as a friend i should have held back, i dunno, but i do know i didnt set out to hurt her, and so im paranoid now about what i say...maybe thats not such a bad thing.