I have lots of freedoms, as much as there are many things that i do have to have his permission for there is many more things im permitted to do without running to him every 5 mins, it works well for us, i tend to try to follow the direction of knowing him as well as i do and what his expectations are, what he approves of etc that i act accordingly.
Sometimes, as has happened recently, im given a short sharp reminder that what i perceive to be things i can do without having to ask, things that i guess really i take for granted are privileges, and ones he can take away.
The general, all important rule is im to be obedient and pleasing, and thats really common sense, well it should be but its not just as black and white as that, well in my mind its not...in his mind...well....it is that simple.
And i have dwelled on this a lot as of late after a discussion with him, i didnt like a decision he made and expressed as much, he asked if i was arguing, i wasnt and i stated that i was simply voicing my opinion and its what i thought....he replied that this was not permitted! (along with other 'privalages' being taken away) and that took me back, he has never once denied me my voice, not in this way.
I brought it on myself, i know that i havent been as pleasing and obedient as i should be, well obedient yes, i wont back down on that, but i have been failing miserably on the pleasing side, and that stems from getting complacent, taking for granted and pushing the boundaries of what im allowed to do.
It brought home to me that the freedoms i percieve to have, that i consider my 'rights', the very things that most take for granted are permissible only because he allows it.....and as much as i might be put out that i have been denied these things until behaviour improves, it very much gave me that comforting feeling of containment, reminding me im owned.
It will make me more appreciate of what i am allowed, that when all is said and done i have it good.