Sunday, 16 February 2014

Is slavery for me?

"I read some of your posts and some of it fascinates me, but a lot of it scares the fuck out of me, I don't think I could be like that, is there a going back if all goes wrong or there is a realisation that it's more than I can handle?, how do I know if slavery is for me, we don't live together and it's not possible that we ever will, so can we have a TPE?.  I would appreciate your advice?

I replied to this comment via email, and yes i asked if i could summarise it on my blog, as it is a subject that crops up on occasion...and ok i wanted distraction from the consequences of my last post....eg i dont want to talk about it atm!

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I cant answer whether slavery is for you or not, the only person who can know that is you, i know that might seem like im passing the buck, but i believe it to be the truth.  

What i do know is, forget about what i do, how it is in my relationship, my slavery is personal to me, to my Master, its how we are, for others in M/s dynamics it may well be very different...there simply is no blueprint to define how it should be...its what you and your dominant want it to be.

Obviously bear in mind this is my opinion, and its probably not a popular one! TPE as the total in it implies, means all, everything, all the time and so therefore im hesitant to say that TPE can apply to those relationships that are not 24/7....but that is my opinion.

By no means (and im covering my ass, in case offence is taken lol) am i saying that those who are 24/7 are in any way 'better' or more 'real' than those that are not, its simply speaking from my own experience that M/s because of its intensity and mostly i think because its not just about the kink, its about service, day in day out, and fully relinquishing control (which is a huge part of what being a slave means to me) is not fully achievable in a situation that is not 24/7.

But again to reiterate that is my opinion, there is no 'right' way.

Is there a going back?

Yes, these relationships are based on consent, it is consensual slavery, however i think its very important to talk, talk and talk again to each other, have an understanding of what each others expectations are, and being realistic with those expectations.

And really, try looking beyond the labels. its too easy to get caught up in the idea of " i must do xyz to be a slave" or "i cant be submissive because i dont do xyz"

Im opinionated, stubborn, sarcastic and on a really bad day a complete and utter stroppy bitch....some might say thats not the personality of a slave.....and thats ok, i have yet to find the ultimate definition of what a slave should be like....and thats because there isnt one....well ok my Master gets to decides on how he likes his slave to be.....and yeah well lets just say im work in progress!










16 comments:

  1. Good advice. I think it is easy to get caught up in "this is how it should be". Every dynamic must be one that is built between two people and unique, if both participants are happy with what they have made together then it must be "right" whatever it looks like.

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    1. Thanks, i think that is the biggest issue,its what you make it and want it to be and thats what makes it right.

      x

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    1. thanks mouse, i wasnt sure if i would cause offence with my opinion about M/s being more suited for 24/7, i know it can be a controversial topic!

      x

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  3. Thank you, tori. Love your advice.

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    1. thanks, HS, ultimately its just my opinion, i wouldnt want to advocate that my way is the right way, and i think its so important to get that accross.

      x

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  4. Hi Tori, wonderful advice, thank you for sharing this. You are so right. There is no one size fits all to ttwd. It's about what works for each couple.

    Hugs,
    Roz

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    1. thanks Roz

      Yep couldnt agree more,and i wanted to stress the importance of that.

      x

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  5. tori,

    Excellent advice. I agree with your comments.

    Thank you for sharing,

    Hug,
    joey

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  6. I think you answered this perfectly! And thank you for sharing :)

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    1. thank you Yearning

      I think its important to look beyond what others do, there is no right way.

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  7. Great post, tori!

    "Im opinionated, stubborn, sarcastic and on a really bad day a complete and utter stroppy bitch" - were we separated at birth? lol

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    1. lol i think this gives us an edge lmao

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  8. I think you're quite right, it is easy to get caught up with labels and trying to find the right one and then finding you don't define perfectly (and who does?!)

    Sometimes it's really hard to just relax and let it be what it is...

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    1. yep, i like labels in the respect that they come in handle to define certain situations but then of course what one label means to one person will mean something else to another...so its best to just go with what suits you.

      x

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