No matter that i knew he would not be persuaded otherwise, no matter that i knew this was coming a few weeks back and i have had time to get my head around it, i still tried to get out of it, after coming down from the caning i had the whip to face.
I tried distracting him with offering him sexual relief, ("afterwards") pleading that i really, really didnt want to be whipped ("I know, but you are going to be") and in a last ditch attempt to delay a little longer i asked for more water...my mind thinking how long can i make this bottle of water last? he conceded to the water but took the bottle from me when he realised my intentions, and he had to ask (like i really want to make that decision!) "front or back first, you choose?"
I chose back first, i was hoping that if i really struggled and got myself worked up then he may show some mercy and not whip me on the front, he secured the ankle and wrist cuffs to the chains and a strap accross my lower back onto the cross all the while i was still trying to talk him out of it..hey im a big believer in hope.
He started with the leather multi-tailed whip and this is bearable but its still got one hell of a sting, then a rubber multi tailed whip which is when i started to get very aggressively verbal "bastard" and "twat" came up a lot along with "i hate you"..he doesnt pay any mind when i get like this during s/m in fact he laughs which just makes me more incensed.
Then the single tail which is without a doubt my nemesis, previous times coming up against this have not been at all a pleasant encounter, 3 strokes in and im trying to undo the cuffs, screaming at him that i want off the damn cross...4 has been the most i have got to on previous occassions with this particular whip and he lands another one before stopping to check in.
This is the difficult part which perhaps is difficult to understand and can be seen perhaps as pushing me to far or having no concern for my well being, but for those that read this far please understand that i need this 'treatment', crave it even and he is experienced in what he is doing and he knows me well, better than i know myself.
He stops and stands beside me, im tearful and im begging that i really cant handle more, also when he attached the cuffs to the chain they were low down on the chain, enough for me to be able to use one hand to reach accross and undo the cuff on the other wrist and as he is talking, calming me down, im pulling the cuff off, im determined i am getting off this cross.
Its a blur now, what he was saying, i remember calming and without resistance from me he re-secures the cuff and moves both arms up higher on the chain so there is no possible way for me to get free of them, i ask to be gagged and he inserts a penis gag into my mouth the penis gag specifically i find comforting, it gives me something to clamp my mouth down on, and i grip so tightly onto the cross and wait.
Just 3 more he says, then 3 on the front and its over. I can do this, i will for him and with these 3 im not struggling and fighting them as much, its hurting a lot i cant deny that, i hear him tell me how pleased he is and what a good girl i am, he stops and i put 2 fingers up (no not in that way!) "you want more" he says and i nod, he obliges and then again i indicate for more, 3 more in quick succession and i have had enough, i dont need to indicate he knows and he takes me down.
I had my limits pushed and the high that gave me afterwards is just an amazing feeling one that i really dont think i can attempt to verbalise, i took more for him, i wanted and needed to suffer for him and i loved that i did this for him and thats what gives me great satisfaction and pleasure...that and the tell-tale dripping between my legs.
(oh and i didnt escape the 3 on the front)
Now im craving more.