Its not that i feel a need to defend the Bossman (ref the anonymous comment on last post) but i recognise that for sure it does happen....that submissive women (and men), those with little or no experience do get taken advantage of, in the beginning when starting out it is all new, i do get that one is desperate to put into practice their desires..and there are those out there ready to take advantage of that.
Master is older than me, by 14 years which really i dont consider a huge age gap, i think its perspective, if i was say 18 and he was 32 then yeah if it was my daughter i would have my concerns, but i was in my early 30's with a marriage behind me and rearing 2 children, Master was in his late 40's..so i think that puts that in perspective.
Master was at university when he first came to discover D/s and bdsm, with an older woman, he was 17/18 (he is 52 now) and he subbed to her, he said that he enjoyed it, and what he enjoyed was the power exchange..but he wanted to be on the other end...so he started topping her under her guidence...and thats how he began and continued down this path exploring.
So he started out at a young age, whereas me i was in my late 20's before i took the plunge into discovering this whole new world, being as its the age of the internet that was the obvious place to start, and had a brief dabble in the water with a dominant before meeting Master.
I sought out someone older and experienced on a bdsm website, InformedConsent which alas has now folded, because of my inexperience i naturally wanted someone that had plenty....and well i do like older men, ironically the bossman had tended to go for older woman with experience.....and he got me..Ha!
Has it been easier because of his experience? you know im not sure, in many ways i think yes but then sometimes i wander how nice it must be to start out in ttwd together, both discovering new experiences, but we are how we are...i wouldnt change that....and
no matter how anyone gets *here* as long as they are enjoying their journey together does it really matter who has travelled the longest? no
Beautifully written. Your relationship with Bossman is one of obvious love and trust...well obvious to anyone willing to step down off their pedestal! lol
ReplyDeleteDaddy and I are travelling this journey together and learning and growing as we go. I sometimes wonder if it would be easier if either of us knew what the hell we were doing! But I also love experiencing new things with him and I wouldn't want it any other way.
hugs
bg
Thanks bg
DeleteIts not always easy, but then nothing worth holding onto rarely is!, its more important that both want to hold onto it.
I think everyones journey is unique to them.
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no matter how anyone gets *here* as long as they are enjoying their journey together does it really matter who has travelled the longest
ReplyDeleteI think that is perfectly stated, tori. As bg said, I enjoy reading here because the level of love, trust, and mutual fulfillment is palpable.
cd
thanks cd
DeleteI do believe this is something people need to remember, too often there is a tendencey to think that the grass is greener on the other side....and often its not lol
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Very well said!
ReplyDeletethankyou Renee
Deletex
I agree with that, no matter how you get there if you are enjoying it, it is all good.
ReplyDeleteWe started exploring kink together, and there were upsides and downsides to that too. But we found a few mentors locally that would help both of us, which was really good.
I like the idea of mentors, when i first started out one thing i wish i did have was a mentor, someone that i could just talk to and sound out to but where i live out in the middle of nowhere..there is no local or even close kink community.
Deletex
The grass is always greener at times it seems. Going down this path together as newbies has been hard, confusing, fun and exciting. Sometimes it seems it would be easier of one of us had some more familiarity with it but as you said its all good and as we are both happy.
ReplyDeleteYep i agree about the grass sometimes seeming greener.
DeleteWe all have to start somewhere, no matter how much experience we may have no at one point we all started with nothing but ideas lol
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VERY well said tori! Thanks for sharing more about how you came to this and about your and your Bossman!
ReplyDeletehugs,
fiona
thank fiona
DeleteI like hearing about how others came to this lifestyle etc, and i dont really tend to talk about the bossman that much..well not in the context of his past.
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Great post and always interesting to look back. I only have a short time to look back on, but can see I have come such as long way. It is not age that matters but the fact that you are right for each other and if you weren't you wouldn't still be together. xx
ReplyDeleteI enjoy looking back, because when we do we can see (even when we think there hasnt been lol) that we have progressed, improved...grown.
DeleteAge isnt important, i agree..but i do like older men than myself lol
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My favorite Domme is an older woman. I have realized with BDSM that knowledge and experience are more important than age. And, the most important sexual organ is the brain.
ReplyDeleteThere are lots of men who are predators, but it is not age that defines who they are in the scene. My good friens are an M/s couple with a thirty year age gap, but it works for them. The older man is caring, loving and protective and a terrific master.
Hug,
Joey
Oh yes joey...the brain is the most sexual organ...much prefer someone to get into my head and understand what makes me tick..which takes more effort than getting into ones knickers! lol
DeleteYep i like older men and it works for us.
x
thanks for sharing, I love to find out how others came to this.
ReplyDeleteSirD is a LOT more experienced than I and a little older. This is my first RL playtime. I need him to be more knowledgeable and experienced. I feel safer that way.I need to be taught. I need him to lead. I need to trust his experience and trust in him.
L
hi L
Deletethanks, i do to, i think its interesting to see how we all got here..ok im nosey lol
I sought out someone older and experienced because i was in a position that i could, i do think that is one advantage of starting out from not being in a couple..but it doesnt necessarily mean its easier or better...i have had conflicts.
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