Friday, 22 February 2008

friday 22 Feb

Its not that i am offended by any questions that are posted in blog, just that i have come accross timewasters and its made me wary especially when i know nothing of whom is asking the questions, but i will try answer them if their sensible.

I can honestly say i dont know why i am the way i am, i remember reading a book in my middle to late teens by Ann Rice although she used another name (cant remember off hand what) and it was about a girl (sleeping beauty) who was taken as a slave and used sexually as well as being beaten regularly, and i found it very erotic and it did arouse me. I consequently read the follow ups and eventually read the Story of O which at the time of reading it i found very intriguing, and it became something i later fantasized about. Didnt admit to anyone about this because well it goes against the norm and i didnt want to be seen as a freak and i didnt have the knowledge and understanding and i guess confidence to explore any further.

As to how i got to where i am now well the internet has a lot to do with that, the feelings i had (ie, wanting to be dominated etc) never went away and i just used to trawl the internet for information and eventually plucked up the courage to place a profile on a bdsm site. To cut a long story short i did meet with someone, didnt work out but i did realise it was something i definitley wanted to explore more of so after a while placed another profile met Him and well here i am.

If i really dont want to do something i would need to have a very good reason why not, "not feeling like it" for example is not a good reason, He can be reasonable and i think it would depend on what it was and the circumstances for example if im unwell then i would think that would alter His decision. I can express how i feel about something and why i would prefer not to have to do (whatever) and it is then His responsibility to determine whether or not i do or dont, and i have to trust His judgement.


  1. I can see your point and not being sure about who your talking to but then surely that applies to anyone on the net, but if it helps my name is Helen, im 24 and I live in Scotland.

    One of your blog entries says how you prefer to be domninated by someone intelligent is that important to you and why? and why wouldnt you consider a newbie as have to start somewhere?


  2. hello Helen, your comments are appreciated and i dont mind answering questions i guess you give me something to write about!