I swear to god He has a selective memory when it suits Him, i cant believe now He has all of a sudden remembered my masturbating without permission from a few weeks ago, although i still dispute that i shouldnt be punished (ref previous blog entry), ok yesterday i was in the wrong although i didnt think so at the time.
Actually im feeling quite ashamed of myself i knew when i watched the bdsm video clips that i would get aroused and would want to cum and i did ask permission but didnt wait for His reply i went ahead and done it anyway, i was confident that He would give permission so i felt justified in my actions. On reflection i have to be honest and admit that i knew i shouldnt have done so and worse i think what subconciously made me do it is i wanted His attention the only flaw with this is yes i will have His attention but not in a positive light. Now im getting myself worked up over the liklihood of Him making me use the butt plug although it could be worse but heck im not stating how im not that stupid.
On a change of note i have one bruise left on my left tit, quite a nice one too its the one where He put the needle in that drew a lot of blood, i would like to try more next time needles that is although preferbly not thicker ones yet. Its the thought of them going through my nipples thats making me squirm although strangely enough im keen to get them pierced which is odd considering i really cant stand the idea of needles through them.
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