Havent posted for a bit, i think its because now i know only You read it, not that this bothers me because ultimatley this blog was started to be just a tool to put down how i feel etc, but since i started it i have become very protective of my blog and i resent the fact that it has had to go private because of someone else, not that it concerns me who used to read it or not. Anyway i will try to get back to posting more regularly, so the weekend have to document this of course.
I wasnt nervous at all just really looking forward to seeing You as always and especially after the last time we met i was just glad to have all Your attention to myself for a weekend with no distractions (yes i know how very selfish of me). The chalet was very nice, roomy and of course more importantly no need to worry about noise, i was a little antsy because i knew my period was due and i dont like being unprepared so was concious of needing to check all the time and i really cant stand the idea of being watched when i go to the toilet.
I didnt get my own way this time in the respect that i didnt get to suck Your cock first, nope pain first this time and i wasnt worried as i naively thought that You wouldnt be too hard initially well not at least until later in the evening but You soon fucking burst that bubble. I know You used some kitchen implements on me (reminder to self not to make suggestions) and one in particular was fucking vicious i think if i recall correctly it was the fish slice that damn thing really hurt a lot, i liked the new cane once i got used to it so its still my favourite and i think i came from the caning im sure i did. I wasnt restrained on the table at this point although i know i was squirming by the time You started using the crop (i think it was that) i was definitley out of my comfort zone at this point.
Well then it was the whip, hate that fucking thing absolutley detest it and when You used it on my back that was the worst i remember dropping at Your feet begging for no more and i really thought You would give in i really didnt want anymore, but no You made me get back up over the table and this time you gagged me and restrained my arms so i couldnt move off. I was definitly scared at this point i just wanted to get away and i was pushing the table accross in an attempt to get away from the lashes not that it made a difference, i was close to tears and i think this was a combination of not just the pain but the fear of not knowing when You would stop and i was starting to panic.
And then You did stop. I cant recall the exact sequence of events my frame of mind wasnt altogether with it at this point but i think im correct in saying that You then fucked my ass, stopping to take me into the bathroom where You pissed on me and then pulling me by my hair and back onto my knees to finish fucking me, which of course i enjoyed this part a lot and it hurt more this time. I remember being humiliated when You told me to go and clean myself up as i stunk of piss, i felt completley used but yes naturally i got off on that, i enjoy being treated as such. So all in all it was a good session, i am disappointed with myself that i didnt handle the whipping as well as i wanted to, i found it really hard to cope with and im certain this may have been because i was close to coming on and my body was really sensitive all over.
ok will finish off tomorrow.