I would make a shit dominant, the Bossman was teasing when he suggested the idea of professional dominatrix, gave us a laugh as he knows what im like, i just dont think i could pull it off..its not me.
Its the thought of having to make decisions for someone else..heck im terrible when i have to make them for myself...its so much easier when he tells me what i need/have to do! im a Hmmm er, i hmm for a loooong time its like when he might say "where would you like to go for dinner?" see my immediate response is "i dont mind, where would you like to go?" by the time i would make a decision and stick to it..it would be time for breakfast.
I have always been this way, long before i met the bossman, although yes i think because of the nature of our relationship i have become more accustomed to having decisions made for me, i know this sounds quite pathetic, but yet in work im or rather should i say was different, with decisions regarding my children im different...when its something important...im focused and although i value his advice and opinions..some decisions he cant and wont make for me.
Its more the silly inconsequential things that i hmm about, so yep its easier being told what to do.
Doesnt mean i necessarily like all the decisons he makes for me, but i know he will make the right ones, with the best intentions.
Then the whole kink thing. i couldnt hurt someone, even if they enjoyed it, i would be saying "are you ok?" "is that too hard?" constantly and as a masochistic submissive that would piss me off if a dominant persistently kept asking me this!
Its the confidence thing as well, and also well i like a bit of arrogance when being dominated, and Master pulls that off really well (sorry Master but well you can be very arrogant, but thats ok i love it), i wouldnt be confident in a dominant role.
Its just not me.
Most definitely happy being at the bottom.
Umm sometimess i do have the urge to whack him back....but i like having skin...skin is good!
oh yes, the urge to whack back...Fight it! I am also told that shin kicking is absolutely under all circumstances, no matter what, completely and totally, unacceptable. You know, just in case you thought you might want to try something new...
ReplyDeleteoooh now as tempting as that sounds...um i think i will pass lol
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I run my life, except when Master visits, I usually let him make the decisions, because, well, I have to pick my battles. It's not worth a scene over which toilet paper I should get. If he's nice enough to take me to the supermarket and buy me groceries, he can buy me any kind of toilet paper he thinks is the better deal. Even if he's wrong. Hee.
ReplyDeleteYes i think there is a lot of wisdom in picking ones battles carefully...somethings just are not worth kicking up a fuss about.
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I would make a shit dominant too. I have actually realized this mostly through my work. I am the person in charge and hate it. Spent years trying to get here and now I realize I don't want to be in charge and make all the decisions,
ReplyDeleteI didnt mind the being in charge at work, i had to be responsible because of the nature of my job, switching off from that at times i did find difficult.
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i have no problem being in charge (i'm a switch after all), but if I have to do it all, all the time, it gets too much and all the joy of anything goes out of - balance in all things, basically.
ReplyDeleteSubmitting - to someone I like and trust - is a fabulous exercise, especially when I've become stressed and my 'in chargeness' is sliding into control freakery. Its an amazing relaxing and freeing process..
On the other hand, dominating someone - I love and trust - is amazing too, especially that they trust me in that way...
The most important/freeing thing I guess is to figure out what works for you - submission, dominating or both - much less heart ache then, for sure
I can understand what you mean about the balance, and for sure its possible, after all if it wasnt there wouldnt be switches lol
DeleteI just know its not for me, would i try it, dominating that is....umm i would if i had to but definitley not with Master.
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Lol. I might contemplate slapping Master if I could run faster than him, unfortunately at some point I would have to come home and I do like my hand so, yeah, probably best to just dream about that ;)
ReplyDeletelmao
DeleteI think dreaming/leaving this to fantasy is the best thing!
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I am an independant woman, I am strong & maybe dominant where I have to be BUT I would go back to vanilla before I would ever consider becoming a Domme. Sure I like to tease and can be very sassy but to be the one in charge of a D/s .. no thank you. That's been one of the best discoveries I have found on my journey .. the ability to give up control in my submission.
ReplyDeleteI think being submissive, submitting to another does require strength, a strong sense of self worth, and yes i do think one can have dominant traits.....but im so with you on that i would rather go vanilla than be a Domme.
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I love when Sir gets arrogant. It turns me on more. At times, I want to challenge it just to see how far I can push it.
ReplyDeleteYes arrogance is a huge turn on for me also....although im not brave enough to challenge lol
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The more responsibility I'm given the more indecisive I get, except at work, somehow that gets a different mindset.
ReplyDeleteI wanted to be a nurse as a kid, but then I realise I could stand seeing people in pain. No hope for me as a Top, I would feel guilty after the first smack :)
hugs
DF
Yes i definitley get what you mean about having that different mindset at work, its about being adaptable to the environment i think.
Deletelol i couldnt be a nurse simply coz i cant stand the sight of other peoples blood!
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I couldn't pull it off either Tori. I am hopeless at making decisions and have always tended to defer to the decisions of others, except, as you say, when it comes to the 'important' decisions.
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Roz
Yes decision making is my downfall, and being responsible for making them for others would be just too much for me.
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I completely agree, and relate to all the reasons why you couldn't Top, I'm the same!
ReplyDeleteI think your either that way inclined or not, of course some can be both and thats great but for me....at the bottom is just fine.
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I know, the only way I think I could would be to turn them on (my own need to please!) not because it turned me on to be dominant. Does that make sense?
ReplyDeleteYes it does, and i think thats one of the few reasons i could do it if i had to, because it pleased him....but it would have to be dominating someone else i just couldnt not with him...not that he would entertain that idea anyway lol
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