Monday, 22 June 2015

Me.....complicated!!!

I dont like it, but i want it, i hate it when its happening, but i love it and dont want it to stop.

Im so contradictory.

Im so sure, of what i think, and then im not so sure.

I have often thought myself difficult, still do sometimes, i wander where i fit in, do i need to fit in anywhere?

Being pushed/forced to do something i dont want to do i find really reinforces the mindset of being submissive, for me, but yet he would prefer my compliance because submitting is, using dictionary definition...accepting/yielding to another, so if he has to use force or push me its not submitting is it?

Is that not contradictory?

But he does always get what he wants, one way or another, where im difficult i think is i get these mental blocks in my head, which i cant get past, it could be that im thinking "we shouldnt do this or that, its not right" or i simply waste too much energy on thinking of the what if's.

I do generally come around to his way of thinking, not always, its like with the whole limits thing, its only very recently that i have changed my views on that, but there are things, most especially surrounding the idea of enslavement that i do disagree with him on.

Not that it matters, because its his way that it goes, but that doesnt stop me from having my own opinions, and they are subject to change, he doesnt object to that, as long as i still go his way....and i do.

Im not complicated, im just changeable, dependent on which way the wind is blowing, how much coffee i have had, time of the month.....

Let's just say he is a very patient man!  to a certain extent!


(yes comments to reply to, on it tomorrow)


















14 comments:

  1. Sounds like the important thing is that you still you still go his way and please him.

    FD

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    Replies
    1. Yes, you are right, that is the main thing.

      x

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  2. Im quite complicated and a contradiction myself

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    Replies
    1. It's good to know im not alone lol

      x

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  3. Hi Tori, I totally get this ... wanting it/not wanting it. Does my head in at times lol

    Hugs
    Roz

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    Replies
    1. it does my head in...as im sure it does his lol

      x

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  4. I get those contradictions too. It gets confusing sometimes.

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    Replies
    1. it does, and then i wonder if im just over complicating it lol

      x

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  5. I am so contradictory that I drive myself insane!

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  6. Contradictory is essential to being a slave.
    And one way or another, it is always his way for me, too ;-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. now i had not thought of looking at it like that!

      x

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  7. Great post, exciting to read. It's a life that I haven't lived or explored in anyway, so it intrigues me.

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    Replies
    1. thank you very much, yes i can get that its intriguing, it still intrigues me! lol

      x

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