Me.....complicated!!!

I dont like it, but i want it, i hate it when its happening, but i love it and dont want it to stop.

Im so contradictory.

Im so sure, of what i think, and then im not so sure.

I have often thought myself difficult, still do sometimes, i wander where i fit in, do i need to fit in anywhere?

Being pushed/forced to do something i dont want to do i find really reinforces the mindset of being submissive, for me, but yet he would prefer my compliance because submitting is, using dictionary definition...accepting/yielding to another, so if he has to use force or push me its not submitting is it?

Is that not contradictory?

But he does always get what he wants, one way or another, where im difficult i think is i get these mental blocks in my head, which i cant get past, it could be that im thinking "we shouldnt do this or that, its not right" or i simply waste too much energy on thinking of the what if's.

I do generally come around to his way of thinking, not always, its like with the whole limits thing, its only very recently that i have changed my views on that, but there are things, most especially surrounding the idea of enslavement that i do disagree with him on.

Not that it matters, because its his way that it goes, but that doesnt stop me from having my own opinions, and they are subject to change, he doesnt object to that, as long as i still go his way....and i do.

Im not complicated, im just changeable, dependent on which way the wind is blowing, how much coffee i have had, time of the month.....

Let's just say he is a very patient man!  to a certain extent!

(yes comments to reply to, on it tomorrow)