Well. I know what caused the doormat issue, i did get an email back (they were concerned i might 'out' them. I assured them i would not, and actually although i didnt like what they said, i respect that they named themselves (the blog) generally when people want to be judgemental etc they hide behind being anonymous.
First of all any emails i receive i would not disclose the name/blog title here, here being my blog, the only exceptions would be if it was a topic of conversation that i wouldnt mind blogging about, subject wise, but first i would ask the emailer if they minded.
So what caused the issue?
Basically the concept of having no choices, which was from a post i made myself.
Actually i have lots of choices, i chose to make a cup of coffee before i started this post....and i did it without asking permission! im choosing to drink it now without asking permission, i may well choose to have another one in 20 minutes and not ask permission, i have chose to write this post without asking permission....im such a rebel!
But we are not talking about making/drinking coffee are we?
Im going to try to keep it as simple as i can....which may not be actually that simple..this is me we are talking about after all.
I chose to be in this relationship, now its not like we are in the dom/sub frenzy period, we have been together many years, so i think its safe to say we know each other very well.
When i say no choices, i mean it in respect of having a very clear understanding of what that means to both us, which is bottom line he is in control of us, me, primarily i have 2 choices, to obey or not.
I try to always choose the obey option, and hmm 95% of the time i make that choice. Does this mean i have no say, input or my feelings/thoughts are not considered? of course not, although it is situation dependent.
A while ago whilst having anal sex, he stopped, said "somethings wrong?" i nodded and he withdrew, yes something was wrong, i was in pain, not a good kind of pain at all, and if he hadnt brought it up i was going to, now he could have continued, its his right, my body is his to use as he wishes and i would have no choice in the matter.
Or perhaps I'm having a diabetic hypo, but he wants to give me a beating, he can regardless because hey I'm a slave I have no choice
In those situations i have choice, the right to say "no" i have the right to be kept safe, i expect him to keep me safe, to not cause me damage, as it turned out after a visit to the doctor i had an infection from a cut inside my ass. The examination was enough to put me off medical play for life.
Its a dominants responsibility to look after his sub, to keep her safe, its the subs responsibility to let the dominant know when something is not right, so he is fully aware of the situation, and he needs to trust that his sub will tell him, and the sub needs to trust he will do the right thing.
The saying...'just because you can, does not mean you should' comes to mind!
Saying i have no choice is about obedience, about being pleasing, it does not apply to situations that are effecting my welfare, its a matter of context, and he wouldnt have it any other way....he wants me happy and healthy.
Now im going to make my other cup of coffee, i may even choose to have a biscuit with it.