Confronting refusal/reluctance, brought about by a discussion via email.
There has only ever been one situation that i can recall where i have refused to follow his instructions in the moment, as in during 'play', for sure there have been times when i have and still do say "i dont want to" etc and protest but its still happened, but outright refusal and it hasnt happened..just the once.
There has been times, and im sure there will be more in the future, where we might be discussing a potential scenario etc and i voice that its not something i feel i can do, for xyz reasons.
But...im a slave, i should just obey regardless, because thats what slaves do....ugh, not even going there!
I think there are 3 options the dominant can take in these situations
1) To use force, by any means necessary to ensure compliance.
2) To use positive encouragement, to talk the submissive around, dependent on the situation, to go into what the problem is, to see if it can be resolved there and then.
3) To stop, discuss it, and perhaps re-visit the situation at a later date.
Option one, force, when im reluctant to do something, being confronted with having no choice in the matter, knowing that it will happen whether i like it or not is a huge turn on, but there is a difference between outright refusal and reluctance...its somewhat of a balancing act using force, but mostly the dominant knowing and understanding his sub well.
So for me, i dont enjoy being with a woman sexually, i could quite happily not have to do it at all, but on these times, i am forced/made to do it, the force is not physical (well apart from the time he has shoved my head and held it there between a womans legs) but its more of a "you have no choice"..he knows that i get off on that, still dont enjoy the actual act...but having to do it...fuck yes!
He ties me up, and tells me he is bringing in another man to fuck me, i wouldnt be reluctant, i would outright refuse, but he forces me too anyway by keeping me tied up and leaving me with no option, or perhaps beat me until i verbally comply, and im fucked by this other man.
Being forced in this situation would have a really negative impact, it would shatter my trust in him, and our relationship as a result would more than likely deteriorate, i wouldnt be able to move past it, it would be well beyond the 'just deal with it and get over it' attitude, my instinct as i even write this, has me saying i would withdraw consent until or if it could even be resolved.
How does he know when its ok to use force and when its not? because he knows me (better than i know myself in many ways), talking a lot, lots and lots, and through the experiences we have with each other.
Whatever option the dominant chooses to take, especially in regards to force, he has to consider the said consequences of that choice, even taking the 3rd option and stopping does not mean he has given in to the submissive, because i think most subs, or rather speaking for myself, i want to obey him, i want to please him, so for me to outright refuse he should know its clearly something i have big concerns with, even reluctance to a certain extent demonstrates im having difficulties that need addressing.