I should know better by now, but i do sometimes get this idea in my head that i have entitlements, like expecting acknowledgement for my submission, or more specifically recognition that im generally obedient, that i do try hard etc, and yeah ref last post, that i deserve it.
However Masters attitude is simply...why should i expect acknowledgement/recognition for behaving as a slave should (his expectations of his slave that is), i should be obedient, i should try hard, i should be pleasing, that is what he expects.
Now to be fair, because i dont want to make him out to be completely Mr Mean i do get the "good girl" and other words of support, but i should not expect them, and because he does not (and nor do i) agree with the theory of submission being a gift, why would i seek out acknowledgement for submitting, do i expect him to be grateful that im submissive?, that i submit to him?, that im obedient? no, i dont, but yeah i do get ants in my pants at times where i feel i have entitlements.
Entitlement.....'the condition of having a right to have, do, or get something'
'the feeling or belief that you deserve to be given something'
So i might say "i did what you asked, can i have xyz?" he doesnt like this, its interpreted as im attaching conditions to my submission, obeying with the expectation of something in return. He also does not like any sentence that starts with or contains a "but its not fair...." that usually gets met with a "and your point is?" and i now resign myself to not even trying to make my point...because ultimately the point is that...no, it may not be fair, but it is how he has decided it will be and my protestations will change nothing....its just the way it is.
I guess im still learning and trying to be at a place where i submit with grace, to display elegance in my submission, defined by my manner, behavior and speech.
The speech is a hard one.....i really do have a mouth engaging before brain problem!
Mouth engaging before brain - yep, i being to that club.
ReplyDeletei don't always feel i deserve entitlement, but when i've pushes myself, then yes. Guess i too need to work on grace.
Can we have a secret handshake, password, and t-shirts for our club?
t-shirts....definitely want t-shirts lol
Deletex
Oh...I wish everything that I was reading here in this post wasn't so darn familiar.
ReplyDeleteWe are only human right...? I think there is a part of all of us that wants that positive reinforcement/reassurance that we are pleasing.
Now if only I could figure how not to say "that's not really what I was hoping for". That one tends to get me in trouble!
oh yes i think its perfectly acceptable and 'normal' to have that reassurance that we are pleasing.......alas he doesnt see it that way.....im working on it though lol
Deletex
Slaves aren't really entitled to anything but it is nice to be acknowledged and praised on occasion.
ReplyDeleteYes it is, and i appreciate it very much when i get that acknowledgement.
Deletex
Hi Tori, I too think we all crave acknowledgement and positive reinforcement from time to time. I think it helps us dig deeper. It also lets us know we are pleasing.
ReplyDeleteHugs
Roz
Yes! i like that, it does us to dig deeper, and provides motivation i think.
Deletex
Hi tori,
ReplyDeleteIt sounds a lot like Sir. He doles out compliment or praise like there's a limited number that he can give out and by the time he gets home, they're used up. But do you find when your Master does say good girl or something else, it means more than if he said it all the time?
Honestly, mouse needs the verbal acknowledgement probably a good deal more than Sir feels he needs to express it.
If you do uncover the secret to accepting it or getting them to change please let us all know.
Hugs,
mouse
oh yes, i think if he said it all the time, like it was expected then it would lose its meaning, although like yourself i do need it, yes expect it as well but i want to know that he is pleased with me, that im doing ok.
Deleteif i uncover the secret, you will be the first to know lol
x
Its catching i have the same problem too and gets me the most into trouble. I think we can all be guilty of expecting some kind of acknowledgement of our submission because its not always an easy thing to give and sometimes any acknowledgement works as an incentive. Its not an easy road xxxx
ReplyDeleteyep, couldnt agree more, its not an easy road, but its a road worth travelling.
Deletex
i'm very thankful that mine uses positive re-enforcement and praise A LOT. sure, i end up getting manipulated but a) that's hot and b) I'm happy and compliant which is what he wants, so win win!
ReplyDeleteHe does use positive re-enforcement but its on his terms, wheres i suppose my issue is that i expect it when i want it lol
Deletex
tori,
ReplyDeleteI am sure that he completely adores you. But, he also knows what you need and want, to be his slave.
My dominant can be really MEAN, but I know that in her soul she is thrilled by my behavior.
Hugs,
joey
yes, you are right joey, but i still cant help expecting it lol
Deleteyeah he fits in the mean catogory as well.....well i think he is being mean, he would disagree!
x
"I guess im still learning and trying to be at a place where i submit with grace, to display elegance in my submission, defined by my manner, behavior and speech."
ReplyDeleteYea...Me too.