I should know better by now, but i do sometimes get this idea in my head that i have entitlements, like expecting acknowledgement for my submission, or more specifically recognition that im generally obedient, that i do try hard etc, and yeah ref last post, that i deserve it.
However Masters attitude is simply...why should i expect acknowledgement/recognition for behaving as a slave should (his expectations of his slave that is), i should be obedient, i should try hard, i should be pleasing, that is what he expects.
Now to be fair, because i dont want to make him out to be completely Mr Mean i do get the "good girl" and other words of support, but i should not expect them, and because he does not (and nor do i) agree with the theory of submission being a gift, why would i seek out acknowledgement for submitting, do i expect him to be grateful that im submissive?, that i submit to him?, that im obedient? no, i dont, but yeah i do get ants in my pants at times where i feel i have entitlements.
Entitlement.....'the condition of having a right to have, do, or get something'
'the feeling or belief that you deserve to be given something'
So i might say "i did what you asked, can i have xyz?" he doesnt like this, its interpreted as im attaching conditions to my submission, obeying with the expectation of something in return. He also does not like any sentence that starts with or contains a "but its not fair...." that usually gets met with a "and your point is?" and i now resign myself to not even trying to make my point...because ultimately the point is that...no, it may not be fair, but it is how he has decided it will be and my protestations will change nothing....its just the way it is.
I guess im still learning and trying to be at a place where i submit with grace, to display elegance in my submission, defined by my manner, behavior and speech.
The speech is a hard one.....i really do have a mouth engaging before brain problem!