*still apologising that im behind, not just with questions, but replying to comments, catching up on blogs etc*
little girl asked
"Has there ever been a time that you refused an order and if so, what were the consequences?"
Im cringing, because i really dont want to sound like a little miss goody two shoes but no, i have always obeyed, perhaps not immediately but ultimately i do as im told, there has not been anything or a circumstance (he may correct me on this) where i have not eventually done what he has ordered me to do.
On the times i have hesitated, protested, how he dealt with this was circumstances dependent, most of these times has been during s/m or humiliation scenes, out of the realm of kink and in general im obedient, thats not to say i dont have a little grumble at times, because i do. Nor am i saying its always so easy, its not, i have had my fair share of little temper tantrums over the years, and more than likely more in the future.
an example on how he has dealt with my refusals, protests etc
So, once i was bent over the bed and he was whipping me with a birch, i wasnt restrained and after a pause i moved away, he told me to get back in position, and i wouldnt, i told him blankly "no" He put the birch down, got into bed and picked up his magazine to read, not saying a word to me. So i was stood there, and initially i felt a sense of victory and got into bed next to him, but that passed very quickly, i had disappointed him, i could have used my words differently in how/why i was finding it difficult but i didnt, and his reaction, or rather non-reaction unsettled me.
I got out of bed, bent over it and waited for him to continue, and he did, and then the issue was discussed, how i could have responded differently etc.
I believe there are a few things that have helped in establishing my obedience and avoiding outright refusals.
right from the very start of our relationship he was firm, start as you mean to continue, train of thought, i learnt very early on that not obeying would result in consequences i wouldnt like, and it was dealt with immediately, and i would still have to do what i resisted, protested, complained about.
he has and does never ask anything of me that im not capable of, i may not always like it, feel like it, or want it, but i am capable of it, he has never set me up to fail, and for the most part (although i dont always think it at the time) is reasonable in what he does request of me.
and quite simply, i like doing as im told, i want to please him, im content in being controlled, dominated, it makes me happy, so why go against what makes me, us happy.
That was a very effective technique to stop and get in bed and read. It showed you how much you want to serve him and make both of you happy.
ReplyDeleteFD
oh yes it was effective, i didnt like the coldness, i felt guilty.
DeleteI had to put things right.
x
Ya, ya - seriously a goody-two-shoes =)
ReplyDeleteI hate that he just didn't react…just stopped. My Sir does that as well and it kills me. I'm sure that's why he does it. It's effective. I feel an overwhelming amount of guilt if I disappoint him. I do love that you both discuss after.
Thanks for sharing!
hugs,
fiona
lol are you suggesting im not capable of being a goody two shoes?
Deletethe guilt....yes! a huge factor, i hate it when he isnt pleased with me.
x
mine does this as well. 'Oh well, we'll just not do it then'
ReplyDeletearrrgh!!!!
it's horrible because I get what I want but I now find myself hating what I want AND hating just the mere act of getting what I want and-
you know, I've just realised the whole thing is just one big conditioning exercise!
I do think a lot of it is conditioning, reminds me of Pavlov's experiement with dogs.
Deleteand yes there is that fleeting moment of..yay got what i wanted and then the realisation that it comes at a price!
x
This is exactly how Omega is with mouse. Really would rather be punished than deal with his "frostiness."
ReplyDeleteHugs,
mouse
oh yes the frostiness is horrid, puts me on edge and so agree would rather be punished and move on than having it left hanging in the air.
Deletex
Tori...thank you for the response! Your answer and example were great. There is nothing worse than the feeling of guilt and disconnect when they are not pleased. I agree with mouse...would much rather the punishment.
ReplyDeleteyour welcome, and im just so sorry for leaving it so long until i responded.
DeleteYes punishment does give a sense of closure, rather than just letting it build up, i really dont like bad atmospheres.
x
and quite simply, i like doing as im told, i want to please him, im content in being controlled, dominated, it makes me happy, so why go against what makes me, us happy.
ReplyDeleteSums it up beautifully!
yes it does really sum it up, i figure if one wants to be dominated then they have to want to submit, and its not always going to be submitting to things we want or like.
Deletex
Effing guilt... that's all I have to say about that.
ReplyDeleteI don't think you should be cringing at obeying. It is very admirable!
lol guilts a bitch!
Deleteoh i have my moments, i do eventually get there, but not always immediately.
x