Friday, 25 April 2014

All tied up or not

"shouldn't you be able to hold position instead of having to be restrained, it shows more willing submission rather than having to be forced, especially being as your a slave"

you know, im not sure if this is meant sardonically or not, however im in a very jolly mood as i have had a glass of wine and chocolate, which is a rare treat for me these days, so i shall give the benefit of the doubt.

Firstly being a slave has nothing to do with it in my opinion, unless i missed the memo stating otherwise, you know what niggles me is this whole idea that there are these set in stone ideas of what a slave should or should not do, so lets get rid of some common myths shall we.

1) a slave cant or should not have a safeword.......bollocks

2) a slave cant or should not have limits.....yeah bollocks to that one as well

3) a slave is a 'level up' from being a submissive....and that can join the bollocks list as well, being a slave does not make one more superior than being a submissive, just perhaps a different 'type' of submission.

4) a slave is weak.....quite the opposite, it takes a lot of strength to submit completely to the will of another.

Now, holding position, does it show more willing submission?

if you think it does, then thats fine, personally its not something i have given a lot of thought to, my Master has certainly never implied as much on the times i have needed to be restrained, so i figure if he hasnt got a problem with it then i havent either.

I love to be tied up, not just for the purpose of s/m but just being in bondage alone without any other kink does it for me, i find it calming, and it gets me into a very submissive head space, very quickly, if i had my way i would spend a lot more time in bondage than i do now.

Now, when it comes to s/m, sometimes i can hold position quite comfortably, and other times i cannot as much as i want to, when your say, holding onto a cross and a whip is striking you hard, taking you beyond your endurance level, pushing you beyond your normal limits its very difficult to maintain position, for those that can, fair play to them.

But im a wriggler in general, even without it necessarily being harsh im inclined to thrash about, so for safety reasons its better that im restrained......certain implements more so than others you dont want hitting you in the wrong places if one should unexpectedly move their position.

Plus, i can take a lot more when im restrained, not just because i cant escape it, but because as explained above it just puts me in a really good headspace, but yes of course because i am restrained it reinforces in my head that i have simply no choice but to accept what is happening and generally, albeit not always stops any fighting against what is happening.

All in all, there are other ways, ways that are more important to me, and to him that show my willingness to submit.









27 comments:

  1. How about the willingness to step up to that cross and be restrained to it, knowing he's going to go beyond your endurance and you'll be unable to escape?

    I'd agree with every thing you said there. I usually don't get tied, but I love it when I am. And yes, sometimes it is just impossible to hold still.

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    1. yes!! you make a really good point here, hadnt looked it at that angle before, but yes knowing what is going to happen and willingly stepping up isnt easy.

      x

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  2. I so love being restrained, when I am I don't even try to wriggle (I am a wriggler too). I find it reassuring and an aid to my submission. This is about trust in your Master / Dominant and about giving up control, not about how much of a submissive you are.

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    1. yep i would agree, trust is a more important factor.

      x

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  3. Lovely post..so reassuring to see some sense being written about these lables we give ourselves- submissive / slave in this case.
    and yes bollocks to the rules that tell us a slave doesn't need a safeword, limits or other. Its all in the negotiation between Master / Dom and slave / sub. This is not a a guild association with bylaws. This business is about relationships and the thrills we seek inside those relationships. Restraint equals less 'pure' submission?...bollocks. Our Dominant partners often love the restraints as much as we do. I prefer restraint for much the same reasons you do. While restrained I feel more His than at any other time.

    L :)

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    1. thanks little

      it is a pet hate of mine when one comes accross these ideas of how we should be, there simply is no blueprint of how any of this is done, we all work with what works for us.

      x

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  4. Well said Tori, I agree with you on all counts and like Ancilla's comment. Holding position does not necessarily equal greater submission.

    Hugs
    Roz

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    1. thanks Roz,

      nope it doesnt, but unfortunately there are some that place their own personal expectations on to others, believing there is one true way....and there isnt one!

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  5. tori,

    I agree with you on all of your points especially the comments about a slave.

    I love to be restrained when I am caned or whipped. It puts me in a better headspace. Plus, I just enjoy the feeling. I squirm and wiggle within the bondage, but I cannot move very much.

    I can usually hold position without restraints, but I prefer it for hard and long scenes.

    Hug,
    joey

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    1. thanks joey

      yes most definitely i agree, if its going to be a long and hard scene being restrained works for me.

      x

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  6. Interesting Tori. I can take more when I'm restrained because I KNOW I'm not going anywhere fast y'know. But Mitch judges how 'effective' his actions are based on my movements? As in, if I consciously try to remain in position, he thinks he's not getting through to me. And if I wiggle around, I get more because I'm not keeping still!! Argh lol! It's a no win situation! Or is it...... :)

    Dee x

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    1. Heh heh. I think they plan it that way! I know my Master likes those no-win situations. He always gets to win, even when I think I am.

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    2. lol, sometimes its simply as ancilla said a no-win situation, if im not restrained and i move, i could 'earn' extra, and obviously when i am restrained..im getting whatever he decides im getting.

      x

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  7. Funny but true for mouse, if Daddy restrains her, it's much easier for her to drift into subspace, than when he doesn't. There's something to it which allows her mind to quiet and accept rather than intensely focused on not moving -- if that makes any sense.

    Totally loved the part about what a slave is and isn't. TTWD isn't what everyone does or should do.

    Hugs,
    mouse

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    1. Yes, i didnt think to mention that, subspace does come easier when i am restrained because of the reasons you gave, there is just that acceptance, no fighting or rather focusing on staying in position, its easier to relax and let go.

      oh mouse its a pet hate of mine when one comes across these ideas of what a 'real' should or should or should not be like!

      x

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  8. oh I couldn't agree more with all the 'slave must be - well that's just bollocks!'

    as for the bondage - I love both. I love actual bondage, but with the times we have, the risk of interuption and having a full house it's not always practical, so he often goes for what I think of as mental bondage - putting my hands or whatever where he wants them and commanding me to keep them there.

    I love both but they are very different, that's for sure. And if it's going to be really hard, then either he has to allow time for me to be thrashing around between strokes or he has to tie my arse up!

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    1. yes they are very different, and can have very different results from the experiences, my preference is bondage, because i simply love being tied up.

      and i tend to want to reach subspace, and for that generally i need bondage, but not always.

      x

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  9. Bollocks...i love that word, needs to be used more, lol. I don't think it takes more willing submission to hold a position without being tied up, maybe more willpower...i would be squirming all over the fucking place trying to get away! I like being tied up because it's a turn on, i'm not sure if it puts me in a better space to take more or what. But I know that it gets me very excited about what's to come, lol.

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    1. lmao....bollocks is a favourite word of mine, that and numpty!

      yes, i like the anticipation when tied up, watching him, waiting for whats coming.

      x

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  10. Good for Masters to have options - to expand the possibilities of what they can do, the effect they want, the mental aspects, the physical, i imagine even the 'look' of the scene before them - why on earth should they be limited to fewer options just because someone somewhere thinks being bound is 'too easy.'

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  11. Nothing like a good bollocking :-)
    Great post and comments.

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    1. lol, i quite agree

      thank you

      x

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  12. tori,
    loved your post, I've been a lurker it's true, but I felt the need to comment today.
    totally agree with your slave myth list!! always miffs me why people assume there's only one way. lol
    as for the tying up, versus having to be still, I must say, I often think it depends on the Dom's mindset. if he wants his sub/slave to be constantly concious of being "still" then that makes sense that he wouldn't tie you up. I will agree with mouse tho, being tied up makes it easier to space out...sometimes I'm quite certain that's not what he wants tho, he wants me to be completely "present". You know? lol

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    1. hi ya monkey girl

      ahh yes its a pet hate of mine, that idea of there being only one way...a sure fire way to piss me off lol

      Yes sometimes he wants me to be still, and i try very hard to be, because i want to please him, so thats a big motivator, but yes it is dependent on what he wants from me in any particular scenario.

      being 'present' i hadnt thought of that, but yes makes total sense.

      x

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  13. Excellent post tori, very well said 😊

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  14. Agree entirely. Bondage is a great aid to getting your mind in the right place.

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