Tuesday 5 November 2013

Abscence makes the heart grow fonder...

Yeah im talking about blogland, absent not through personal choice....and thats all im saying about that!

So many posts i need to catch up on.

Its odd because this blogging can be very addictive and for the time i was not able to blog/comment i was not a very happy girlie at all, and then when i was able to come back and blog/comment (Friday), i would load up this page....and just sit looking at it, completely at a loss.

Im wandering if its possible for one to go backwards?  all is good with the bossman and i, so its not that at all.....hmm how to explain in a way that makes any sense at all!

Its like in the beginning when the bossman and i got together, he was strict, there was no let up, it was i guess (looking back) setting the boundaries and ensuring they was adhered to, i think that it was needed to build up consistency, (to learn that he would stand his ground/would not 'give-in') setting the groundwork i suppose in which i think comes the sense of security.

Then time flies by, a sense of contentment, perhaps complacency creeps in, not enough that it causes great problems but i admit if im not kept on a tight proverbial leash i tend to after a while start pushing at those boundaries, and although he puts a stop to it...it can start escalating, behaviour deteriorates, i get antsy.

As of late it seems he has gotten more stricter...which i really didnt think was possible!, but i wander if thats just my perception and in actual fact its my behaviour that has got out of hand....im more inclined to think thats the case.

There has been incidences over the last 6 months or so where my behaviour has been appalling, and im ashamed of that, its needed drastic improvement, and he has been ensuring that it does improve, i feel like im having to 'earn' privileges...or perhaps im being reminded that the 'freedoms' i do have are not to be taken for granted because they can be taken away.



16 comments:

  1. tori,

    Welcome back. I missed your posts. But, we all need a break from blogging once in a while.

    Hug,
    joey

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    1. hi ya joey

      I missed it to.....but now i seem to have writers block lol

      x

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  2. Welcome back Tori! I was just wondering how you were doing ... and here you are :)

    I can relate to complacency creeping in and pushing boundaries. I'm reminded too that the freedoms I enjoy can be taken away.

    Hugs,
    Roz

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    1. thanks...wasnt gone for long lol...but it seemed to be..and now well now im stuck!


      Yep sometimes in order to appreciate the freedoms i have, i need to lose them.

      x

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  3. Hi Tori,
    Whatever the reason for your absence, glad you're back!
    I was thinking of my kids, reading your last paragraph. As they grow I give them more freedom, more responsibilities and trust to do things on their own. Then I realise I've given too much away, they become difficult and harder to manage, so I grab some of that freedom back, rebalance the equation. They don't like it, but ultimately it works out best all around. The hardest part will be letting them go, something I don't think you have to worry about with your Master!

    hugs
    DF

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    1. thanks DF

      I hadnt considered looking at it from that perspective....but yes the similarities are accurate, in fact there are many similarities between parenting and D/s the more i think about it lol

      Oh he cant get rid of me...stuck with me now lol

      x

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  4. tori, glad you are back...you have been missed.

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    1. thanks...its good to be back...missed blogland and those in it..

      x

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  5. Good to see you back!
    There's little quite as frustrating as finally getting to sit down and stare at that blank page and just...Stare and wish for inspiration.

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    1. thanks lil

      I know...and im still at that point...i just seem to have nothing i want to say...which makes a change lol

      x

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  6. Oh happy to see you back!

    And lil is right: Being able to sit down (finally) and not have all the thoughts you thought were surely waiting to spill out onto the blank page, is so frustrating.

    It sounds like all is good between you and bossman...maybe just a little tweaking? :)

    P.S.
    I would be honoured to have you on as a reader.

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    1. thankyou....although not gone for too long..thankfully lol

      I am feeling frustrated...and im not sure how to get out of this rut!

      Tweaking...yes thats very apt, sometimes its needed.

      will email you ref...a reader.

      x

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  7. tori, I'm so glad you're back! And that you found something to write about, I'm sure the next post will be easier.

    Whatever the reason for the change, be it that he is getting stricter or your behavior, he is doing it because he cares... that is something to smile about.

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    1. thanks

      I wish it were easier Misty...but im just not getting any inspiriation lol

      Yeah..all is good, sometimes i need that pulling back into line.

      x

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  8. Master does that over here as well and it ususally is a result of one getting complacent. It's always shocking when there is give in the leash and then He yanks it hard enough to make your head snap. At first one usually acts out in response but it always ends up in a happier place.

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    1. That db is exactly it......its easy to get complacent but harder (well for me) to get back on track.....which seems to be applying to here in blogland as well lol

      x

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