Monday, 25 November 2013

Cleaning and out with the bump

I would like to report that i have been occupied with lots of kinky stuff...but alas this is not the case, i have been spring cleaning, or perhaps winter cleaning is more apt.

I like to go through the house in a major way before Christmas, curtains taken down washed or changed, walls wiped down, skirting boards cleaned, furniture cleaned...all the things that are not done on a regular basis.

But the best part of last week was going with my friend shopping for her nursery, she only has less than 2 months to her due date and my gift to her was decorating the nursery, its been so much fun.  I am appalled though at the insensitivity of some people, making references to having a baby at her age...she is 46.

Her husband and her have been married nearly 20 years, and trying for a baby pretty much the same amount of time, and nothing, went for all the tests, tried IVF and still no success, and they stopped perhaps 5 years ago...gave up.

Then such wonderful unexpected news she got pregnant.

Mostly the support from family and friends has been positive, its been other expectant mothers that she has come into contact with that have been judgemental, which understandably has caused her to get upset, honestly it does seem to me that being a woman you cant win.

If you have children too young there is criticism, too old its wrong, if you have them at the 'right' age and still work full time your judged on why have children if your not going to raise them, if you dont work and are a stay at home mum you can be deemed 'unproductive to society'.....i wanted to flatten the bitch that said that to my sister-in-law....or you get comments such as "well what do you do all day"....seriously!!! people who say that clearly cant have children or a home!




28 comments:

  1. Hear hear!
    Applauds the last paragraph loudly before slinking back into the corner with her coffee to enjoy 5 whole more hours without children*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Lil

      Oh i do love to make the most of the times when i am without the children..i think that goes for any parent.

      x

      Delete
  2. Yes, absolutely! No matter what one does, it is the wrong thing according to some nosy people! Best just to live your life and avoid/ignore the haters as best as possible, IMO.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Its true isnt it? cant keep everybody happy so i figure as long as im happy, children are happy thats all that matters lol

      x

      Delete
  3. Oh, I fit into all the wrong brackets - baby in my forties, stay at home mum - did I have a choice in any of it? My marriage and kids came late in life, the last one was a miracle because I given up hope. My job was taken from me and I decided to spend my time as mum while I'm young enough to enjoy it. I have relative who is having a baby at 43, they'd been trying for 8 years, 7 IVFs and given up. Life isn't simple.
    Done with my rant.
    On a more mundane level, I've been busy cleaning the windows.

    hugs
    DF

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol rant away....its good to rant..thats my defence and im sticking to it!

      I figure whats important is the quality of the parenting not the age!

      x

      Delete
  4. tori,

    I think this is the first time I ever commented even though I've been lurking for a long time. I wanted to say congrats to your friend! I struggled with infertility issues to have my second child for several years and that was so hard - I can't imagine what 20 years would be like. That's an amazing little miracle!
    And boo on those who would dare say something so insensitive. Mothers can be so hard on other mothers sometimes :( I'm still afraid to admit to most that I didn't breast feed even though there were medical reasons.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hi Aurora, nice to 'see' you come out of lurking lol

      Yes absolutely i agree, some mothers are the worst judges of other mothers, ok sometimes its well founded but really they are only seeing sometimes a small piece of a big picture.

      I didnt breast feed, and i felt guilt but i went with what worked for me.

      x

      Delete
  5. We've always got it all wrong in somebody's eyes!

    The "what do you do all day?" LOL this was going around a while ago. I dont' think this is where it started but it's awesome. There's what gets done all day! http://www.divinecaroline.com/entertainment/what-did-you-do-all-day

    Love your gift idea :-) It's perfect!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep there is always someone out there ready too judge if they deem your not doing it the right way..in all walks of life!

      I wanted to do something that was practical but also helpful...it was great fun.

      x

      Delete
  6. I've been trying for a couple of years... So good for her. That's amazing! People that haven't been in her situation have no right to judge. Most people just need to shut their mouths and worry about their own life!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I wish you the best of luck.

      I often find the ones that judge really are in no position to at all!

      x

      Delete
  7. Some people just like to complain and criticize. Congrats to your friend!:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dont they just!

      Thanks, she deserves it.

      x

      Delete
  8. I am so happy for your friend!!! Such a wonderful miracle .. she is sooo lucky. Fuck those people who dare to criticize. Who are they to judge those who have struggled? Shame on them. Let your friends enjoy EVERYTHING this means for them.
    Anyway, I love the your baby shower gift .. that's amazing & so creative!!!! *tucks that knowledge away for a rainy day*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Im just so pleased for her, it gives hope to those also in her position, she had just given up.

      Its been so much fun choosing all the bits and bobs for the nursery, i wanted to do something different and special for her, she has been such a wanderful friend.

      x

      Delete
  9. Congratulations to you friend! How wonderful for them. How lovely and thoughtful of you to decorate the nursery for them.

    This was very well said. It seems no matter how we got about things, there is always someone willing to criticise!

    Hugs,
    Roz

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Roz, it was just nice to be able to give her something back for all the support she has given me over the years, plus it has been so much fun.

      x

      Delete
  10. with medical advancements these days one can have children way past the perceived "correct" age. i tell those judging jemimas, shove it! and to your friend, congratulations. it IS a miracle indeed.
    and you are SUCH a lovely friend for your support and helping to decorate the nursery. i'm sure she'll be in good hands with you around her!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Fondles,

      Im all for medical advancements if it helps a woman and a man to conceive, that she got pregnant without medical intervention was a bloody bonus, i couldnt be more happier for her.

      I just hope i can be as much support to her as she has been to me over the years.

      x

      Delete
  11. Tori,

    What a great friend you are! And warm thoughts to your friend.
    I adore this post on so many levels and so happy you wrote about all of this.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thankyou Bleuame

      She deserves it simply because she has been such a great friend to me and i wanted to do something that bit special for them both,

      x

      Delete
  12. I love women, but we really are the worst. I have yet to hear a man criticise a woman for her baby choices ... great post! ava x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes i think we are much worse than men for being judgemental and bitchy!!! there i admitted it lol

      thanks

      x

      Delete
  13. People are assholes and some can't be happy without judging others. Congrats to your friend not only for the biggest gift of all her new little one but also for being so strong hearted of a person to not give up for as long as she did. If she could be persistent for as long as she had then she can definitely handle raising and being a phenomenal mommy to the little one. Those people don't know her but I understand their negativeties can still hurt, just help her keep her head up because she is amazing and is about to have the time if her life. And as much love as her and hubby have right now...its about to grow so much more than they can even imagine.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh yes people can be so bloody insensitive thats what annoyed me the most, they dont see the bigger picture.

      She will be a great mum, they will both be great parents, im just so pleased for them

      x

      Delete
  14. Amen! And eff all those effing judgmental people.

    ReplyDelete