Been editing this for a few days now, been putting off posting it, i should have just left it as it was, but when it comes to journalling s/m im wary as of late, its when im most likely to get the judgemental anonymous comments, but i figured i can just write about some of it not all...besides somethings are just not for sharing!
Now where was i...ahh yes on the cross.
The first few blows of the crop was on my tits, he does love marking them up and as they are bound they bruise much more easily without much effort, its when he starts aiming at the nipples i start moaning, and the damn gag in im drooling, i dont like that.
He moves a large rectangular, standing mirror and positions it opposite me, so i can see myself, see the crop impacting and the marks it leaves, he picks up the clover clamps, taunting "where shall I put these? he moves them to my tits and im shaking my head protesting, i know it will be worse as they are bound and sore "no?" he states, "your cunt then"
Grabbing my labia he attaches them the initial bite causing me to cry out, "hmm something is missing" he muses, "perhaps some weights on them" and this makes me immediatley start to struggle against my bonds, i dont want them, really dont want them, he chuckles and moves to pick up the crop again.
Using the crop continually, working its way all over my front, no part escaping its attention, and he is telling me to look at myself in the mirror, to see the marks, the cuts on my breasts, the drool dribbling down my chin, and i dont, i look down anywhere but at my reflection, "are you ashamed?" he asks, i nod, i dont want to see myself looking the way i do.
He removes the gag, and i ask for the hood, and he obliges. Being hooded i find it easier to 'escape', to get to that blissful place where im just floating, it also highlights the other senses, makes me more sensitive to them, and it emphasis my vunerability and that i love. He also removes the binds from my breasts.
Nothing for a while, and i wander if he is standing there observing me, im waiting for whats next, fear, excitement filling me, and then crack a whip strikes accross my tits, im not handling this too well, its not the bullwhip i think im sure of that, its my nemises the dressage whip...i really hate that thing, lash after lash falls, tits, stomach and thighs getting the attention, and the tears fall inside the hood as the sensations are all too much.
After what seems such a long time he removes the hood, picks up the bullwhip and it strikes following the same pattern as the dressage whip, welts criss-cross my body, and for the first time ever i float...i have never reached sub-space with the whip before, and head back i embrace each lash, i turn my head to him and we have this look between us..fuck i love this man so much..and to see the pleasure im giving him is worth the sufferring.
He takes me down, we move to the sofa, sat at his feet, coming down from the high, i needed that, and im just shocked at myself that i was able to get to that floaty place, im happy now just to rest, enjoying his caresses, we perhaps stay like this for half an hour......
"time to mark your ass up now" as he leads me to the spanking bench.