Im not sure where this post is heading, i tend to go off course at times.
In the first couple of years of our relationship it was quite fast paced, motivated i think partly by my desire to try all these new and exciting things and although it was not new to him, he 'fed' off my enthusiasm, he has enjoyed exposing me to scenarios that i had only ever fantasised about.
Then before you know it a few years have gone by and although the motivation is still there and i still get excited, its slowed down..im settled now, content, im not constantly seeking the next new thrill as i was in the beginning.
Not saying that i have done everything, thats not it at all, there is a lot more i wish to experience, but i think its similar to that initial sub frenzy stage, being so enthralled by it all because it is new and exciting, and then it does eventually settle down...its not new and shiny anymore.
Doesnt mean i dont enjoy it and crave it, the kink that is, i do, a lot, but it doesnt consume me like it used to, my focus has changed over the last couple of years, i never thought i would get so much pleasure and satisfaction in serving him in ways that are non-sexual and perhaps not kink related.
Heck i get turned on by doing the most mundane things for him, i consider it a treat being allowed to wash him in the shower, kneeling at his feet for no other reason than just because its where i feel i need to be, being given an instruction to do something for him... all these give me the same gratification that endulging in kink does...perhaps more so.
A recent relevation i had especially after us discussing me watching him with another woman and the feelings this provoked in me was that....actually i like monogamy, i have enjoyed the encounters we have had with others in the past..had some great experiences..but i dont want to share him..in any level...not because of jealousy but i enjoy the intimacy of us and i dont want to share that.