"Do you have a contracted M/s agreement?" and i have jumbled this in with another comment ..kill 2 birds with 1 stone....and yeah sorry for not getting to these earlier..blogging been a bit lapse lately.
No we do not have a contract, never have, i appreciate their usefulness and benefits for those that do, but its not something we ever discussed, personally my thoughts are that i dont see any benefits for us in our relationship to warrant having one.
"I want my limits to be respected I don't want them pushed this does not make me unsubmissive just because you enjoy it doesn't mean everyone should?"
If you can find and quote me anywhere on my blog where i have stated that not having limits pushed makes one unsubmissive, or indeed anything where i have said that "everyone should be/do xyz" please point it out to me? if you can then i will humbly apologise.
For me i like having my limits pushed, sometimes not, but being submissive to another, or more accuratley to my Master means its not just about what/when/where i want or feel like submitting, i think a more clearer way of putting it is for us he determines how my submission is demonstrated, submitting is yielding to another...i ask is it submitting if its only things one like and enjoys? for us the answer would be no.
However apart from rare occassions mostly im happy and get enjoyment from serving him so although the emphasis may be on him and his wants/needs...my needs are getting met albeit in a different context..i want/need to please him.
So limits are important, and absolutley hard limits should be respected.
Im going to sign off by just saying though that 9 years ago i would have been adamant that i would not do let alone enjoy many of the things i do today (in all aspects of our relationship)...and many of those things i needed to be pushed, some i asked for off my own back and others just naturally fell into place.
There is something exciting about having your limits pushed.....especially when you dont want them to be.
ReplyDeleteYes there is i couldnt agree more
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tori,
ReplyDeleteI do not know any sub/slave who does not have limits. Male or female, they have limits and they want them respected. Their Dom/Dommes/Masters respect these limits. Yes. Sometimes we receive a few more cane strokes or are pushed by some other BDSM activity that we regularly engage in, but limits are respected.
To clarify, any form of sex is a limit for me that I will not engage in with a Domme. But, I am sometimes pushed to accept more and more cane strokes during a scene, an activity of most of our scenes.
None of these many, many subs/slaves are less submissive for having limits. A master can be pleased in many, many ways without violating a limit. I do more activities now than I did years ago, but it is with consent.
You have never said in any post that not having limits pushed makes one unsubmissive. Most,maybe all, of my D/s friends would agree with you. And, 90% of them do not have a contract and do not see a need for one.
I have heard Doms complain that their sub will not do a certain activity and it irks them, but almost all of them respect the wishes of their sub. I know of Doms who have not respected limits, but it resulted in a very bad experience for the sub. Usually, it was the last time they did a scene together. But, the sub had extreme feelings of guilt and was very upset by how she was devastated by the breach of trust that once existed between them.
I also think it is OK for the Dom/domme to suggest activities and push us to do more, but only try them with our consent.
Hug,
joey
Its an issue that i understand is personal to the each couple and perhaps encounters, but i do stand by what i said that part of being submissive is sometimes submitting to thinks one is not wanting to do..and that doesnt need to apply to s/m it can apply to anything.
DeleteConsent is important yes i agree, but i think as a relationship progresses and trust is well established etc then it becomes more acceptable for the dominant to push when he thinks its time.
Of course how we work isnt how everyone works and i do appreciate that.
thanks joey.
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There is nothing wrong with having limits or having them pushed. Everyone is an individual and this lifestyle is not meant to cop us together in one lump sum.
ReplyDeleteYes thats spot on....wouldnt do for us all to be the same..would be quite boring lol
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I can't imagine not having limits, but find that under the right circumstances I enjoy having those limits pushed. The line is always moving it seems a little at a time, but never too far at once.
ReplyDeleteI enjoy having them pushed as well, and its not constant, sometimes i dont realise they are actually being pushed..it just seems to well naturally evolve through growth in our relationship.
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I'd always assumed limits are there to protect, for safety, not to measure the extent of submission. Push sometimes sounds such an aggressive word, like a shove. I prefer nudge. To nudge your limits is progressive and tolerable - kind of what Mrs. D says, a little at a time.
ReplyDeleteYes i get the logic of them being there to protect, but i also think its being open minded to having the stretched? perhaps thats a more apt term?
DeleteSometimes i need the agressive approach, i even like it at times, i tend to get off on being 'forced' even when at the time i dont want it..
yeah i know im wierd lol
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