I have not had a problem with the bossman enjoying other women sexually, albeit it has only been oral sex and likewise when i have sexually 'served' other men and women its been limited to oral, we have had some great times, i love watching him with other women. Playing with others is not something we have engaged in for a couple of years but its not been ruled out, should it be something he wishes to pursue again.
I will admit that on these occassions i have struggled with submitting to others, i see my submission as being his only but as he pointed out in response...as my submission is his, as everything i am is his then he will decide how, when and whom i submit to, so i kind of lost that argument. But anyway when its limited to physical interaction its not so bad and on the times i have submitted to another (always under his supervision) i have focused in my head that its just my body they are using and only at the will of the person who owns me, but only the bossman has my complete surrender.
We have never considered poly, i know i wouldnt be cut out for it, and he has no interest in it, it wouldnt be the element of having to share him physically with someone else that would bother me but it would be the emotional impacts. Im possessive of his dominance, i would not want to share it with anyone else, the bond that is nutured between a dominant and his submissive involves opening up to each other, exploring each others desires etc and this is a closeness that i covet, i know things about him and vice versa that are private, just between us and i wont share that.
I guess being honest i would be jealous of someone else having this bond with him, i know its possible to have successful poly relationships, we have met subs and doms in poly dynamics and they are all very happy, but i do think you have to be cut out for it and im not, i couldnt share him and our relationship with anyone else.
The kink and sex is all very well, that i can share, i have done (albeit in 'scenes') but its all the rest...the important pieces of a relationship..dare i say it the vanilla aspects which i just couldnt, im very much his, he owns me but damn if this makes me unsubmissive so be it but he is mine.