I very rarely look at my stats but i cant sleep so poured a glass of wine and just browsing really, anyway an old post of mine has been dragged up from years ago as recently viewed and it struck me how odd that it was written 5 years ago on this date (well yesterday now as its gone midnight).
The bossman will very rarely post on the blog which suits me just fine, and on this particular post he responded to with a written tongue lashing after me throwing a written tantrum.
"Of course you can express an opinion. I want you to.
You were punished
because, having chosen to be a SLAVE, you gave up all rights, within our agreed
limits, to decide what you will and will not do.
No-one forced you to
take this path. You chose it. You also chose me as the person to give your body
to. You may think what you wish, politely express your
opinions/desires/preferences etc. but should you use your body, your mouth, to
tell me what you will and won't do then yes, you will be punished.
time I ask, you confirm to me this is what you want. You are a strong-willed
woman and part of you, I think, still rebels against such servitude. Telling
your master "you can go by yourself then" was rude, disrespectful and not words
a slave should ever utter.
I hope you understand.
Reading this now after all this time, its sort of upset me really because im still a mouthy bitch at times and speak without thinking, and its not that he doesnt want me speaking my mind but to do so respectfully...and when im on a roll (in a temper) i dont stop to think im full steam ahead. I do still get punished when these moments occur and in my defence they dont happen as much as they did in the beginning....so thats progress right?
It was just such a difficult adjustment then, and its still not easy now at times, reading this has got me perusing my old posts and oh fuck some im ashamed of as in...i cant believe i thought that! or the way i have behaved, im not an easy person at times i know that, sometimes i wander how he has put up with me as long as he has, and sometimes like now im just thankful that he has been patient with me when i have needed it but firm and absolute in his expectations of me as well.
Im proud to be his slave and i want him to know that.