Tuesday, 11 March 2008

finished i think......

Where was oh yes well i finally got His attention, He bent me over a chair and used the birch rod again and i still have the same opinion ie. it bloody hurts a lot, He then had me sit astride the chair with my tits sitting atop the backrest so i figured they was in for some attention. He tied me to the chair, my breasts were in tight bondage as well and i was gagged He used the crop on my tits harder than what He has done before and i was struggling after only a few whacks with it. Then the bastard shoved a butt plug up my ass and sat back leaving me well in a lot of discomfort, as i said earlier bondage definitley provokes the most intense reactions out of me.

I started off feeling angry and was cursing Him for sitting back and taking pleasure in my discomfort, if i wasnt gagged then He would of probably got called a few names as well. The anger then turns to pleading and being gagged the only way of communication is through the eyes, when He picked up the nipple clamps i was begging as well as i could for Him not to put them on, but He did and they are horrible things but a hell of a lot worse when they come off.

He later beat me with the flogger and i did try to escape the blows and eventually curled up, He stopped, went and laid down on the bed and i felt guilty for not enduring it i apologised and He said if i was (sorry that is) then i should get back into position for more, which i did albeit reluctantly. I dozed off for a while only to be woken up with the announcement that He needed a piss which translates as "get in the bath, im going to piss on you" which i love apart from the fact that i know im going to get some in my mouth and will have to lick Him clean which i dont love, as of yet He hasnt forced the issue of making me swallow but its only a matter of time before He does.

Overall i think the weekend went well, however i always end up coming away and wishing i had behaved better in the respect of enduring more pain, one of the highlights has to be the fact that the dreaded whip didnt get used (He had left it in the car) and i wasnt going to volunteer to get it.


  1. How can you enjoy being peed on, what do you like about it? I can see why you wouldnt want to drink, what is the point in that, that cant be healthy and ugh I dread to think what it tastes like.

    Im glad it went well, but it still seems to me that he doesnt really care about you else why would he make you do things that terrify you?

    Helen xxx

  2. I enjoy being pissed on because i like the humiliation and the degredation of it, in other words i get off on it and if i had my way would do it a lot more but its not always practical. Actually drinking pee is not necessarily unhealthy and in some cultures is seen as a health benefit. No i dont as i said like the taste and would prefer not to have to drink but thats irrelevant what i prefer.

    I think we are going to be going round in circles discussing the same thing, im sure He does care about me and i trust Him completley, but (yes there is a but) i have to accept as hard as it may be sometimes that He is going to put me in situations i dont like.

  3. I care about my princess a very great deal. In this relationship, we have our chosen roles, roles which work for us. I make her do things that terrify her becuase, as sh and I discussed yesterday, she gets a buzz out of being pushed that way and finding out where her own personal limits are. I couldn't do these things to someone who didn't want them to happen. It's about giving up power and control to another and not everyone can understand that. You'd be very welcome to join us sometime and see, first hand, for yourself x

  4. But what if she doesnt want to do it?

    I dont think I could join you, Im not sure I could watch someone being really hurt, although I know she enjoys it.

    I find the notion of being used sexually appealing but sometimes fantasies are best left as such.

    Helen xx

  5. hello helen

    I will answer that question myself, no i dont want to do it but i do as He said get a buzz out of having to do things i dont like, so it sort of balances out really.

    I agree with what you are saying ref fantasies, however sometimes they eat away at you and unless you are able to push it to the back of your mind then eventually you begin to crave it, as it did with me wanting to be dominated, i got to a point where i had to try it. Obviously it depends on what the fantasy is of course.

    tori x

  6. Hi

    Do you call him master, and what about when your in public or with people, how do you define your roles or do you not? I read what you wrote a while ago about this but im curious as to how he can maintain control when your in public or even not togther?

    Helen xxxxx

  7. hello helen

    blimey i came on to write a post but everytime i do, you have questions, no offence.

    I address Him as Sir, apart from when referring to Him to someone ie. i would say my Master. I havent really thought about the situation in public in terms of how i address Him, i have always called Him Sir and it would be more odd for me not to, but as yet it hasnt caused any raised eyebrows, well not that im aware of.

    As for how we define our roles in public well as far as im concerned people would see us as being no different from any other ordinary couple. That being said i dont switch off from being a slave, and i wouldnt get away with treating Him disrespectfuly just because we are out, if i did i would face the consequences when we was alone.

    I suppose in public its about being subtle, i havent (so far) behaved in a manner in public that has displeased Him and if i did im sure a "look" or tone of voice would let me know if i did.

    It is difficult when we are apart but again i dont switch off just because we are, yes vanilla life can get in the way at times for both of us but im still just as much His slave when we are apart as i am when we are together.

    Sometimes i can get complacent when we are apart and i think at those times its when i need pulling back into line. If He wants me in pain then there are nipple clamps (which are mildly tolerable) to an inflatable butt plug (which i bloody hate). Anticipating your next question yes i could lie and say i have used them as instructed but i dont and if i did would end up confessing and be in worse trouble.

    I find it harder to ask for pain when we are apart because i know its going to be a choice between those 2 and i dont like taking the risk it might be the plug.

    Maintaining control isnt really that much of an issue, if i get a little too cocky i get a verbal reprimand and it may not sound a big deal but its enough sometimes to upset me and on occassions reduce me to tears.

    tori x