Working backwards

With the prompts

Do you beg? How do you feel when you do?

Sometimes, i find it easier to beg for something to stop, or to not happen, than i do for begging for something i want.  Begging is something that emphasis the exchange of power, it demonstrates his authority over me, that he can give or deny whatever it is i might be begging for or indeed begging for xyz  to stop/not happen.

It makes me feel a sense of desperation, vulnerability and 'little'  because i have no control over the outcome, the decision is his, it can also be humiliating..and i love that.

If I could be Dominant for one day I would......

Plan a session in the room of doom based around what i would like to do/enjoy, things we havent done in a long while, it would be all about me :)...the reality would more than likely be that within half an hour, perhaps a little longer i would end up asking him to choose, coz i wouldnt like being in control.

Have you pushed or changed any of your limits?

Yes.  if we think of limits not just being restricted to s/m but rather the relationship as a whole, i think its reasonable to say that as the relationship develops/evolves, we adapt and grow along with it.  Things that perhaps were once not appealing or even were never considered, in time can change, so its perhaps best to not place limits on oneself, the relationship, and just well....Que sera, sera...whatever will be, will be.


Have you experienced sub drop? What is it like for you?

Yes, sometimes.   Although when i do it tends to be much later, as in days, as i come down from the high, what its like varies, i tend to get quite tearful, at my worst i can go on a real downer where i start questioning and over analysing what had happened in a negative way.

What is something about submission that makes you nervous?

Vulnerability, which is also a contradiction because i love it as well, hmm completely surrendering to him, and all that it entails can make me nervous, knowing that he will eventually get me where ever he wants me to be, even when initially i might put up a protest  sometimes.

yes, yes as usual behind on comments, on it tomorrow, just got laptop back after being fixed, and i hate using the phone for writing too much.

and excuse the dodgy, changing text :)