Just rambling

It's summer, well, it's meant to be, the UK, well where I am, must be behind in getting that message, as I sit here looking out the window at the grey skies and rain falling down.

It's been a busy couple of weeks, mostly centred around sorting out things to do with my son starting uni in September, just have to wait now for his exam results to come in, later in August, fingers crossed he gets the grades he needs, he is getting worked up about it, which is making me get anxious for him.

Master is busy, nothing new there, well yes there is, he is more busy than usual, which I didn't think was possible!

I am doing ok with managing myself, in the respect of not acting out, which had tended to be a pattern, he would be super busy, I would feel neglected and that would lead to me behaving in a way I know I shouldnt, because then I would get his attention, and I would figure that negative attention is better than none at all.

But I am doing ok, it's taken a lot of years to change that pattern,....im a slow learner!

I did have a wobble at the weekend, where I started to panic that he didn't want me anymore, I can't really identify where those thoughts come from, being insecure in myself i suspect being the main reason, when he is distracted with work, i have too much time to myself, to dwell on things, and yeah over think.

As soon as I get reassurance from him, im fine again, but i hate that i get needy like that, i need to get back into blogging more regularly, commenting and writing more, i miss it.