Tuesday, 28 July 2015

Just rambling

It's summer, well, it's meant to be, the UK, well where I am, must be behind in getting that message, as I sit here looking out the window at the grey skies and rain falling down.

It's been a busy couple of weeks, mostly centred around sorting out things to do with my son starting uni in September, just have to wait now for his exam results to come in, later in August, fingers crossed he gets the grades he needs, he is getting worked up about it, which is making me get anxious for him.

Master is busy, nothing new there, well yes there is, he is more busy than usual, which I didn't think was possible!

I am doing ok with managing myself, in the respect of not acting out, which had tended to be a pattern, he would be super busy, I would feel neglected and that would lead to me behaving in a way I know I shouldnt, because then I would get his attention, and I would figure that negative attention is better than none at all.

But I am doing ok, it's taken a lot of years to change that pattern,....im a slow learner!

I did have a wobble at the weekend, where I started to panic that he didn't want me anymore, I can't really identify where those thoughts come from, being insecure in myself i suspect being the main reason, when he is distracted with work, i have too much time to myself, to dwell on things, and yeah over think.

As soon as I get reassurance from him, im fine again, but i hate that i get needy like that, i need to get back into blogging more regularly, commenting and writing more, i miss it.


  1. Weather is rubbish - occasional splodges of sun, then heavy rain showers.
    I need to get back into blogging too, finding it a challenge.
    Knock those insecurities on the head, we all get them.

  2. Tough on breaking those patterns...good job!
    When I get itching for that attention, I try and redirect myself into doing something for him. Mixed results, but it can take the edge off.

    Waiting for results are the worse! Hang in there. You are owed at least one sunny day.

  3. Hi Tori, hope you get some decent weather soon. It's winter here. Hang in there re the exam results. The waiting is hard. Good on you for not falling into old patterns. I hope things slow down a bit for your Master soon.