Monday, 6 July 2015

A question of equality/privacy

I have been neglecting blogger as of late, and replying to emails..sorry :)

So the question/query...

"He wants my passwords to emails and other accounts which I consider an invasion of my privacy, doesn't he trust me?  why shouldn't I be able to talk to other dominants, I do not know his or tell him who he can and can't talk to, is this fair or right?  Why can't there be equality in ttwd? he is no better than me because he is my dom"

Its not for me to say whether its fair or right for you, nor can i say whether its because he doesnt trust you.

How it works for us is that my Master does have my passwords to my accounts, email, Fetlife, my blog etc, and he can access them any time he should want to, he has more than likely forgotten what the passwords are! but nevertheless at any time he could ask for them and i would hand them over.

It has nothing to do with not trusting me, but everything to do with control, and that i have no right to privacy, as it is, he is not interested in who im emailing or who is emailing me, reading a conversation between me and a fellow blogger talking about shopping isnt exactly something that he would feel the need to know about!

There are exceptions, when i have been in conversations with people via email we have played with or potential people, i forward those emails to him, and others that perhaps im not sure about how to respond to, but those are very rare.

Nor is he concerned about who i talk to, i have no restrictions on this, take Fetlife for example, i have dominants on my friends list, i have had messages from other dominants, is he bothered? no, because he trusts me, im not going to be running off with anyone else! and besides the ones that are along the lines of sending me inappropriate messages..well im more than capable of handling them myself..i ignore them, they soon get the message, i figure if dominants cant make the effort  to read my profile where it states that im owned and not interested in anything other than friends, then im not going to make the effort to respond to their messages.

He is not threatened by other dominants, so there is no need to say that i cant interact with any, however everyones relationship is different, and those that might place restrictions may have nothing to do with trust, but rather its simply their preference.

The only restrictions that that come to mind which are not really relevant as i have no interest myself, is online role-playing of any kind..but he has not needed to specify that as its understood that would not be acceptable...but like i said its not an issue because it holds no appeal to me.

Quite simply, i have nothing to hide from him nor would i want to, so i dont consider it an invasion of my privacy because i dont have any! and am happy with that.

Now, moving onto the equality point, which is going to be another post, another time, sorry, will get there.


  1. Good advice and thanks for sharing your knowledge and experience. Having now found myself in this situation on Fet, it took me some time to figure out the best approach regarding ongoing contact with other doms and hubby was part of that decision. In fact, when I started to receive a barrage of messages on Fet from other unattached doms, I told them to contact my husband (also on Fet) if they were looking for something more than friendship and also added something to my profile to clarify my interests. Have a great week Hugs. K

    1. My Master isnt on Fetlife and i should like it to stay that way lol

      when i first signed up i got a lot of messages, fresh meat i guess, most i ignored, some can be annoying but i tend to be quite blunt and when they realise im not a pushover they lose interest!

      hope you are having and have had a great week yourself


  2. I think, in my own situation, if he were to ask (which he hasn't) and I told him would feel wrong. I don't have anything to hide so why would I withhold that information? Giving him my passwords is nothing compared to giving him my body and mind (which is what I've signed up for), so I guess it doesn't seem like that big of a deal...

    In fact, now that I'm thinking about it, I'm going to give him my email passwords--what if something happened to me and he needed them?!

    1. Yes when you say it like that, about giving up body and mind, passwords are nothing, thats a good way of looking at it.

      I also like what you said about if something happened to you, i hadnt looked it that way before, but yes a very good point.



  3. Wonderful explanation of how this works for you Tori.

    Rick has my passwords, mainly because he set up my accounts and blog for me. He reads every blog post before publication and I personally love that he takes an interest in it. He also used to view emails, but not anymore, unless I specifically want him to for any reason.


    1. thanks Roz

      Yep he did the password for here, and reads my blog although not before i publish, if he was really unhappy for a reason with a post he would have me remove it, that has not happened as of yet though.