Tuesday, 29 January 2008


He wouldnt give me permission to masturbate earlier today and it wasnt something i had anticipated, didnt cross my mind at all that He would refuse, and i wasnt happy about it, spent 5 mins wandering round house calling Him every name i could think of and some new ones. I think what disturbs me the most is that i have become complacent, taking it for granted that he wont say no, and also because i know He is busy at work so therefore i can take advantage that He is distracted for the time being.

Its definitely been a strange few months what with outside distractions on both are parts, and i know i have not always behaved as i should and i guess to a certain extent i have not forgotten my place but have neglected it to the point that when He did say no i reacted in a very unsubmissive manner, although i cant deny it has been a novelty being able to get away with things that i normally wouldnt i will be glad to get things back to normal, well normal for us anyway. We have a date booked up to get together next and i sent Him a text last week asking to be beaten harder and im beginning to think this was a bad idea, not that it makes much difference on whether i ask or not as He will do as He pleases anyway but i think i need it to re-focus on my place.

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