Monday, 14 January 2008

weekend gone but not forgotten........

Well as usual figure i should write-up about the weekend and i enjoy keeping an account its something to look back on and well as usual it was a good weekend.

Was a little apprehensive about this weekend for some reason i had this feeling that something wasn't right, i think this was because we hadnt had as much contact as we usually do beforehand and vanilla issues in our lives was a factor in this. I know i have been feeling very insecure recently and that tends to reflect on my behaviour and attitude in general and then i end up feeling guilty because i know He has a lot going on in His vanilla life at the moment and it doesnt help when im feeling particularly needy.

Stayed at the chalet again which is very nice, private and as He points out don't need to worry about noise although that didnt stop Him from gagging me when He used the whip and im not a big fan of being gagged and as for the whip well no change there still hate the fucking thing. He didnt punish me as was intended and im not sure how i feel about that part of me is relieved because i was getting worked up about it but the other part of me is wandering why as i know i deserved it but shit im not going to pursue the issue....im not that stupid.

I forgot the new gag and the inflatable butt plug and was convinced that this news wouldnt go down well but to my surprise He took it really well wasnt really mentioned so i think i got off very lightly there, i do though think that there are mitigating factors on why He was more lenient (dare i use that word) this weekend, mainly due to circumstances in vanilla life which im not going to get into here. I got to spend a fair amount of time sucking His cock which is something i could do for ages so i was happy however the first time He fucked my ass it bloody hurt to the point that i wanted it to stop yet i got off on not being able to make it stop and would probably have been miffed if He had.

As much as i love the pain or should i say most of the pain and being used in general i love just as much being able to snuggle up on the sofa and spending time together outside of any bdsm activity. I got caned and i still love the cane although im discovering that when it gets past my comfort zone and i really want it to stop afterwards i really dont want Him too, i want to be taken past my comfort zone with the cane and made to take more and although He usually does make me take more as He did this time the strokes tend to be lighter which at that time is a welcome relief i do want to try to increase the amount or the severity of the caning beyond what im used to.

The only complaint i have about the whole weekend was He didnt piss on me and He usually does and i like that a lot even though it usually means i have to try and swallow some which i want to be able to do anyway.

I have bruising on my ass which are more prominent than what i first thought in fact there is one indent in the skin which leaves no doubt over what implement was used its a very prominent cane mark and i love it.

So once again thankyou Sir xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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