What happened next

*Im sorry i didnt intentionally put out a post that was sort of left hanging, i got pissed off with losing the post i was writing so dug out one from the drafts folder, if i was paying more attention i would have put out the following post as well at the same time*

Somethings i was thinking about when we went to bed last night, but i didnt want to bring up then because you was tired, was when i was giving M a blowjob he had me positioned on the floor in the 69 position and was using his fingers to pleasure me.....but when c was sucking your cock you made no move to bring her to orgasm, and i was/am curious as to why not?....and i have to admit im glad you didnt, it doesnt bother me to see you being pleasured, but i dont like the thought of you giving pleasure to another...is that wrong of me?

Also, i felt awkward because i didnt cum, i thought about faking it but then thought if i did and he knew i was faking it that would be worse i think than not cumming at all, i tried to, but well, im just not attracted to him, he doesnt do it for me, and the whole scenario simply didnt turn me on, im sorry i tried, but it didnt.

Anyway, i was a bit apprehensive when M asked if he could use the violet wand on me, i know we have done it before but well this was different, M asked me to sit on the sofa next to c and he alternated between us both with the wand, ok i admit i enjoyed it, i love the tingly sensation, but what really put me at ease was when you said i was not to cum and M pulled a face as though to commiserate with me, made me chuckle.

I did cum, i find it difficult not to when its so stimulating, and i did try not to, but you know i struggle with keeping it under control, well ok i keep forgetting to say when im close, i thought you might not notice, but you did, how the bloody hell do you know?

You wanted to see me ride the wooden pony, you didnt say as much but i wander if it was because i had cum?  its horrid, trying to balance and keep straight up but there is no avoiding the need to lower oneself and the wood pushing into my pussy was painful, its torture, but then thats its intent isnt it.

As i was on the horse you was flogging c, it was odd because i was more jealous watching you flog her than i was when she was sucking your cock, and im finding it difficult to articulate why that is, i just didnt like it, perhaps it had something to do with the fact that whilst i was suffering i had to listen to her groans of pleasure...maybe.

Finally was allowed off the horse, you asked me if there was something i would like, and i requested a caning, i know i was still a bit sore from the previous night, but you know i love being caned, again i wander if you sensed i was not a happy bunny, because i really felt that i was getting the short straw?

 You had me bend over the back of the sofa, and ha ha i loved it, every stroke was just bliss, i was so settled into it and enjoying it, it was like nobody else existed, i forgot about M and c watching, just caught up in my own little world.

Oh and what was those thimble like things that M put on my nipples? i didnt want tos hurt his feelings, but it was like he was expecting some major reaction from me, and quite honestly they did nothing for me, not painful, uncomfortable, nor erotic either, just nothing!

I know its an issue with me playing with others, how i feel about it etc, but im still not sure how i feel about it still, i do it because it pleases you, and yes there are elements i enjoy but im still not comfortable with it that i would choose off my own back to do it.