Monday, 30 July 2007

a reminder of what i am

I have realised that i tend to slip at times and forget my place, my place being that i am a slave to Him and therefore my behaviour should reflect that, and as much as i begrudge admitting it i am in need of discipline and no doubt i will suffer for my trangressions at the weekend. I think a benefit of writing here each day will help to keep me focused as it forces me to think about how i act at times and i am beginning to realise that i need to work on some of my faults they may be minor in some cases but nonetheless i need to alter my behaviour so that i can improve and be a better slave to Him.

I am looking forward to the weekend but as it getting closer im starting to get nervous and this makes me a little more cocky than i should be especially as its getting closer not really a wise idea. I think its because i know i have 2 punishments coming up and if im not careful i can see it being more, if i had my way i would want them out the way as soon as possible otherwise im on edge but its not up to me so will have to wait until He decides its time. It's funny well not funny but strange that i know i deserve to be punished yet i still sit here thinking how i can talk my way out of them although knowing full well thats not likely to happen, i guess this is because i know He is going to be harder on me this time and i got off quite lightly last time when i was punished because i didnt mind it that much so it really wasnt effective as a punishment, defeats the object somewhat......i cant see that happening this time

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